


Unexpectedly

by HerthaLind



Series: Songs of SKAM [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Break Up, Developing Relationship, Drama, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Gay Male Character, Gran Canaria, Growing Up, Lesbian Character, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, Other, Relationship Crisis, The Balloon Squad (SKAM), True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-11 08:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 40,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12931557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerthaLind/pseuds/HerthaLind
Summary: This is really seven SKAM love stories in one, exploring what might happen about one year after season 4.It takes place in the summer of 2018. Everything is changing since our girls have graduated from Hartvig Nissen. Chris and Vilde have moved to Gran Canaria. Sana, Noora, Isak and Jonas have applied for University studies. Eva is not sure what she will do after the summer. We will meet Even, Elias, Yousef, Mutta and the rest of the balloon squad, William, kollektivet and some new characters. One of the SKAM-girls has gotten pregnant and it raises a lot of questions, emotions and reactions, for her and people around her.This story will be told from many different points of views (POV), every chapter will follow one SKAM-character, seeing, thinking and feeling what that character sees, thinks and feels.This is a continuation of my stories “From Turkey with love” and “One year in Oslo” but it can just as well be read independently. Those earlier stories were told from Sana’s point of view (Re-named the series to “Songs of SKAM” not "Songs for Sana").





	1. POV Vilde : Livin' la Vida Loca

**Author's Note:**

> Drafted chapters so far:  
> 1 POV Vilde  
> 2 POV Noora  
> 3 POV Elias  
> 4 POV Mutta  
> 5 Group chat  
> 6 POV William  
> 7 POV Eva  
> 8 Group chat  
> 9 POV Isak  
> 10 Group chat  
> 11 POV Sara (New character)  
> 12 POV Yousef  
> 13 POV Sana  
> 14 POV Chris  
> after this I will just keep repeating the same characters mixed with some chat conversations, and probably a POV Even chapter towards the end. So far I have drafted about 30 chapters total (some might be very short).

### (Monday 18 June, 2018)

Vilde was getting ready for her first day at her new job. She was going to work as a waitress on a resort in Las Palmas. Chris, who was working in the contact center at the same resort had already left hours ago since her shift started much earlier. They had arrived to Gran Canaria together the day before and Vilde spent most of the morning unpacking and getting familiar with their new home and surrounding area.

 

The apartment had three bedrooms, a living room, bathroom, small separate laundry area and fully equipped kitchen. Not that she had plans on doing much cooking, they could eat at the resort, but it was still nice to have the possibility to make some tortillas or pancakes if she ever wanted to. They were sharing it with two Danish girls, Mie and Signe, and had been lucky enough to get two single rooms. It could be good if they were planning on having night guest, which they were hoping for off course. Chris had talked about Mutta visiting already in the end of next week. For herself, Vilde already had already planned a date with with a Spanish girl she met online and you never could know how it would end.

 

Thinking about her first first real lesbian experience Vilde wondered how she could have been so blind before. Before that she just thought that she had the capacity to recognize a beautiful woman when she saw one and that off course everyone had small crushes on their friends that occasional lead to drunken kisses. Before that she had not thought of herself as a lesbian. Sure she preferred the softness of a woman's lips and hands but that was just pure logic. She could not imagine that anyone truly would prefer rougher masculine hands. She figured everybody felt like her, that nobody really got turned on by penises, that it was just something you used because it fitted in the right place. Biology.

 

She had been together with Magnus for almost one year and he was the perfect boyfriend in so many ways. Crazy about her, attentive, always being there for her when things were hard. Then she met a woman who was a few years older on a halloween party, and she made her feel different. She told Vilde that liked the way she danced and they started talking. Vilde loved everything about her, so when she found out that she was a lesbian it only made her more curious, and she started to ask her about it. How did she know for sure, when did she come out and had she ever been with a man. The woman smiled at her and caressed her cheek softly and explained that she didn’t need to be with a man to know that she liked women. Vilde felt envious of her. All her life she had felt that getting a strong man and keeping him was a sign of success. Her father had left them when her mother had needed him the most and everything had gone down hills since then. Vilde had practically been her own mother and father since she was ten years old and most of the time it was rather her taking care of her mother than the other way around.

 

When they kissed that night she realized it was different, that this was for real. They stayed in contact and even met again a few months later and became friends but nothing more. After that it had been a struggle, to first get the courage and strength to leave Magnus and then start being open to herself and her surroundings that she liked women.

 

She washed her tea cup in a haste and hurried out to get to work in time. She didn’t want to get late on her first day. Or leave dirty dishes and make a bad impression on the Danish girls. The sun hit her face and she realized that she had forgotten her sunglasses but didn’t go back for them. She was already in a hurry.

 

…

 

Around eight in the evening Vilde was heading back home. She was tired and a bit dizzy, realizing that she had been so busy getting introduced to her new workplace that she had forgotten to eat any real food, just snacks. She found Chris stretched out on the sofa together with one of their Danish roomies. Chris was happy to see her and asked if she had remembered to stop by the grocery store on the way home. “ **Yes, I got you beer, chips, chocolate, bread for tomorrow morning and, let’s see, some cheese and oranges too** ” she answered and started to put it away in the kitchen. Chris protested, “ **No, beer, chocolate and chips does here, please. I’ve had a crappy first day** ”. Vilde obeyed, sat down on a free armchair. “ **What happened?** ” she asked. “ **Oh nothing, It’s just that I have leak week with cramps for like two weeks now** ” Chris complained. “ **What? Two weeks!** ” Vilde asked alarmed. “ **Na, when I checked my calendar I realized it’s only been like 10 hours, but it feels like forever** ” Chris explained and was met by laughter.

 

Even when having a crappy day Chris still managed to make her laugh. It reminded her that she should get her period too any day now, she was already a little late but that was more common than not. Anyway she had stayed away from men the past six months or so, so she had nothing to worry about. Apart from that one time when she had pity-sex with Magnus because he was so sad that she was moving to Gran Canaria. It had just happened and didn’t mean anything. It was complicated, and not. Magnus was a close friend, almost like a brother, he cared for her. Not like a biological brother off course, more the type that she could turn to when she felt lonely and in need of some love, support and affirmation. He always thought she was the most beautiful and sexiest woman in the world. And she could talk to him about everything, he was always on her side. It really was a shame that she was not in love with him. Anyway those days with men were over and she was starting a new happy, exciting life in Las Palmas, totally set on having fun and finding love.

 

She only felt a little guilty for leaving her mother in Oslo. But, like Magnus had told her, she could not live with and take care of her mother forever. Especially since she didn’t seem to want anybodies help and Vilde could not force her to accept it. She had made her mother set auto payment on the rent and the electricity, so at least she would not risk losing the apartment and end up on the street. And Vilde planned to log in and check her mother's account and make sure there was enough money at the end of each month. Things would be ok, she hoped. At least it was not like when she was underaged and the fear of social services taking her away was always hanging over her.


	2. POV Noora : Norwegian summer

### (Friday 22 June, 2018)

It was almost eight and Noora was closing up the coffee house in the center of Oslo where she was working. Apart from Sana, who had stopped by to see her on her way from work, there were only a young couple left, so she went to ask if she could take their cups and give them a hint that it was time to leave. Sana was sitting by the counter watching her work. They had both been complaining about customers making stupid questions and what they wished they could have answered them instead. Sana worked at the Copenhagen ferries customer service and mostly handle customers calling or emailing her and she explained that for 90% of the question she answer could be found on the website's frequently asked questions page. “ **Not just can they find the answers themselves, some even have read it and still contact us! Going like _Hi, I read this on the website, is it true?_** **I just want to answer ironically** **_No, no we always lie on our website just to cause confusion for you customers_ ** ”. Noora laughed a little while putting away the clean cups and preparing for the morning shift. “ **It’s the only fun we have at work. Me and my colleague Richard, making up fake answers to stupid question. He is hilarious, he has this awkward wicked humor that just cracks me up** ”, Sana continued.

 

They were heading over to Eva’s place for pizza and a movie but first and most importantly they would Skype with Vilde and Chris in Las Palmas. They had tried a four-way group Skype call once before but it had been a disaster, so they decided to try this now.

 

…

 

“ **Hey my girls!** ” Chris shouted out as soon as she saw Noora, Sana and Eva on the screen. They all started started talking at the same time and it was happy and lively but not understandable at all. Eva tried to take control of the situation and lead the conversation. “ **How are you two on fucking Gran Canaria!** ” she asked. Chris took the opportunity to answer “ **I’m dying! I’ve been bleeding since I got here! So no swimming in the ocean for me so far. But work is fine, the weather is great and the people to** ”. They all laughed. “ **Well at least you know that everything is working like it should and that it’s temporary. The opposite would be worse, with you feeling good but the weather and people being awful** ” Sana commented. “ **What about you Vilde?** ” Noora asked. “ **I love it here, everything is so much lighter here. I am doing the same work as home but it’s somehow better, easier. And I have a date tomorrow night, with a Spanish girl** ” Vilde answered. “ **Oh la la, senorita!** ” Eva commented. “ **Oh, and we have to show you the best part** ” Chris started and took the iPad with her showing them the apartment. “ **This is nothing, our rooms, living room, kitchen, but follow me, follow me… and the stairs, going up and up… and volá we have a rooftop terrace!** ” she announced proudly. “ **You can even see the ocean if you stand on the right spot. Here, do you see it?** ” Vilde added. A unison “ **Wow** ” came from the girls in Oslo.

 

“ **Oh, I am so coming to visit you soon** ” Eva said. “ **Please do, come! You can all come for my birthday. You can even sleep here, we both have queen size beds, obviously,  and a bed sofa so there is room for all of you** ” Vilde suggested. “ **How big is a queen size?** ” Sana wanted to know. “ **Big enough for when Mutta is coming next week** ” Chris answered and waggled her eyebrows. “ **He already bought the ticket?** ” Sana asked surprised. “ **Yeah, he found really cheap tickets too, with Ryanair. Thursdays and Mondays are cheapest days he said** ” Vilde explained and then asked “ **How is the summer in Oslo coming along? Any improvement since we left?** ”. “ **Don’t remind us, it’s typical Norwegian summer, too few sunny days, some rain. It’s so depressing** ” Eva answered.

 

“ **Oh, oh! I need to tell you about the dick-pics logic! It’s so sweet!** ” Chris suddenly said. Sana was skeptical but Noora was faster on answering “ **I find it hard to see anything sweet or logical with** **dick-pics** ”. Chris didn’t give up. “ **From Mutta it is definitely sweet, hear me out. Ok, so I had to beg for like forever that he would send one when he first started working on the Cope ferry. And then he finally gave in and send me one and after a few days one more and then another… So then I just had to ask about it, saying _Thank you, they are very nice, but why more than one?_ They all look the same, right, it’s the same dick! And he first got all embarrassed, but then he explained that for him, it’s that he wanted me to know that he was thinking about me and longing and that every time is different** “.

Eva was stunned “ **That actually was kinda sweet!** ”. Sana shook her head “ **Too much information Chris. But thanks for not sharing photos at least** ”. “ **Oh no, they are for my eyes only. And I promised him not to spread them** ” Chris said but also wanted to know what Noora thought. She hesitated but admitted reluctantly “ **Ok, ok, in your world it is sweet. But only because you explicitly wanted and asked for them** ”.

 

…

 

Sana kept Noora company on the way home through the night. So this was supposed to be summer? Well at least it was not raining at the moment. Noora envied Chris and Vilde being in Las Palmas, sun and beach just around the corner and hanging out with people from all over the world in the evenings. Why had she decided to start University straight away? She could have taken a gap-year backpacking in South America instead. She had always wanted to do that. Or go working as a volunteer with some important project somewhere, anywhere different. She felt restless and in need of a change.

 

Well a short trip to Gran Canaria before her classes would start was still possible, especially if the flights were as cheap as Vilde had indicated. Probably best going just with her friends. Living at Kollektivet had started to get on William’s nerves lately, so she didn’t think he was up for staying at Chris and Vildes place if they went to Las Palmas. And staying at a fancy hotel would just be too touristy and kill half the fun. The best way to travel is always to visit someone who lives there and know all the local places and people. If they would live somewhere else they would have less time to hang out with her friends as well.

 

She and William had talked about getting their own apartment soon and she knew that he had started to look at ads. Maybe that would be enough of a change for now? It’s not like she could move abroad anytime she felt bored or restless either, like when she had gone to Madrid. And now they were two people to consider, it had to work for William to.

 

Right now, this very moment, she just longed for a hot shower and to put on soft cloths and get under a blanket. She had been on her feet all day even though she had PMS-cramps coming and going. Every time she got the possibility to rest or sit down her supervisor had given her the evil eye. She knew that he did not think it looked good when staff sat down at work, that it gave a lazy impression, so they always had to find something to do even if everything was already taken care of. Even during their break he preferred them to go somewhere else, and not sit in the café. The last three hours she had been by herself but she had so much to do before closing that she still didn’t get any chance to relax.

 

She thought about Sana’s comment on Chris complaining about her period; _At least you know everything is working like it should_. That is one way to look at it off course. Her own period had been strange lately, irregular and no real flow, more like spotting. Should she take this as a sign that she was not taking care of herself well enough? She probably needed to sleep better, more exercise and to eat more vegetables and fruit. One time, years ago, she had lost her period completely for half a year. She had definitely not taken good care of herself back then.


	3. POV Elias : Booner talk and breakfast therapy

### (Monday 25 June, 2018)

Elias had really missed this. For once both Mikael and Mutta was off the Copenhagen ferry and they could hang out all the guys together like old times. They worked as waiters in one of the restaurant's on board, on a rolling schedule, two weeks on then two weeks off the ship and it overlapped one of the weeks. They were hanging out at Mikael and Yousef’s apartment just fooling around, talking about doing a video but realizing that they would probably never get to it.

 

Adam had started a conversation on how to lose a boner at inappropriate moments and the discussion was getting lively. He claimed that you could just get rid of it by flexing any large muscle group for 30 seconds or a few minutes, like holding your legs up under the table or simply make a fist or pump your bicep.

“ **I don’t buy it. If it was true then you would automatically lose your boner whenever you needed it. Then you’re flexing muscles all over the place.** ” Even said.

Adam defended his method. “ **It is different when you are in an active situation. For this method to work you need to focus and flex correctly. Flex as hard as possible so it is almost painful or at least gets uncomfortable, as if you're Atlas holding the world on your shoulders**.”

 

“ **I'd just flex my kegel muscles for as long and as hard as I can. Boner dies, problem solved** ” Mikael declared supporting Adam’s method.

“ **Really? I've heard that kegeling can make erections last longer since it typically force blood into the penis. Maybe that's only with multiple kegels though?** ” Elias contributed to the discussion, remembering an article he had read online.

Mutta was shaking his head in doubt “ **I have actually heard about this before and tried it, but it never seems to work. I'm either doing it wrong or my dong is a rebel. Anyway you can just lightly flick your testicles to get it to calm down** ”. “ **My problem is that even if I banish the boner, the arousal is still alive and well** ”, Yousef said and added a dimension.

 

Elias shrugged and started thinking of a way to change the subject. The idea of Yousef getting aroused by his little sister Sana was just too much for him. Somehow he preferred to think of them as just platonic asexual beings who had this pure love for each other. Like another brother, even if he knew deep down that it was not so.

 

“ **So Mutta when are you leaving for Las Palmas?** ” he asked. “ **On Thursday morning** ” he answered. “ **She is going crazy over there, keeps sending me these insane messages** ” he added with a smile. “ **Like what?** ” Even wanted to know curiously. “ **Na, it wouldn’t right for me to tell you. Private stuff** ” Mutta added secretly but seemed very pleased. “ **I just hate when people do that!** ” Even complained. Elias was on Mutta’s side “ **Even, you should not even be asking for details** ” he said to set Even straight. Sure they shared stories on girls and talked about who was looking fine and who was girlfriend or wife material all the time, but they had a code. You can talk and ask about girls, or guys, before you get together or when it is still not established, but no juicy details once it is a real relationship. It’s a matter of respect and integrity. Even defended himself “ **But it’s because I just love Chris. And she would probably tell me herself if she was here, in her own metaphorical way. I am jealous of you Mutta, she makes the world a happier place. Seriously, everybody should have a Chris in their life. Why did she have to move to Gran Canaria** ”. “ **Yeah, she just might be a keeper** ” Mutta answered dreamy and looked proud. “ **Might be? Now you are just being lucky and spoiled** ” Even added.

 

...

### (Tuesday 26 June, 2018)

 

In the morning Elias had breakfast with his sister before the both of them were off to their summer jobs. He was excited, he loved his work with digital marketing campaigns and after work he was meeting a Sara, a girl he really wanted to get to know better.

 

Contrary to what his sister seemed to think, he never had any difficulties in getting girls interested. He didn’t even need to work that hard, he was naturally charming so most of them loved him and he enjoyed the attention he got. The problem was that he would just as quickly lose interest in those girls. He tried to not break any hearts or make things complicated, but there had been some tears and some drama. One involving Adam being interested in the same girl, and accusing him of being a player, juggling several women like some clown. He didn’t sleep around, and he didn’t think that he was disrespectful or exploiting anyone. He had a few experiences with girls who he thought were not really looking for anything serious either. But he would not call it love.

 

The past year or so he had almost lost interest in girls altogether and was longing for something special. They were all getting older and friends around him had gotten more serious about these things, and he thought it was time for him to stop fooling around. Sara just might be special. She had not taken him serious in the beginning, but he persisted and felt like he had worked harder to get her attention than ever before. She was beautiful in a natural way and seemed smart to. They had been on a breakfast date on Sunday and now he had insisted on a quick coffee after his work and before her shift as a waiter. “ **Let me just get you some nice coffee, you’ll need it if you are going to work all night** ” he had reasoned in a message and managed to convince her to meet him one hour.

 

Across the table he could see that Sana, on the other hand, was not in a particular good place. Something was bothering her, her body language was closed and she had a dark vibe around her. “ **What’s up?** ” he asked. “ **Nothing** ” she answered avoiding him. She seemed more sad than angry and it made him worried. “ **Just spill it out, you know that otherwise I’ll be sad and worried about you all day** ” he tried.

Sana looked at him annoyed. “ **Did Yousef say something stupid? Or was it mum?** ” he continued, asking leading questions. Sana sighed, realizing that she would not get rid of him. “ **No, really it’s nothing. I am just being irrational and too emotional now, over analyzing things** ” she said. He continued looking at her, waiting for more so she continued explaining. “ **It’s just that Noora and Eva are going to Las Palmas for Vildes birthday and I can’t go with them because of work. And I know that they probably cannot change dates and go later, when it suits me, but I just wish they would had asked me or tried a little** ”.

 

Elias answered “ **Yeah, but then it would not be for Vildes birthday anymore** ”. Sana nodded “ **I know, that is probably what they thought, and they already found really cheap tickets too. I told you it was nothing. Still the idea of all of them together and I am stuck here… I wonder if they will even miss me** ”. She got quiet and seemed even sader. “ **Sometimes it feel like Noora and Eva hang out and just forget to call me** ” she explained. Elias hated to see her like that. He knew that her friends meant the world to her. She used to have a hard time making friends and being included when she was younger, so this was probably just old ghosts coming back to haunt her. He tried to think about it rationally.

  
“ **But you too like hanging out with just Chris or just Noora sometimes, not necessary all of them** ” he said. “ **I know. Like I said I am being too emotional these days. And I really miss Chris** ” she answered. “ **I should just start playing basketball again. Since I quit the team I can really feel how I am less fit and I also start to sweat more easily now. Yesterday I felt like I was out of breath from just walking up the stairs** ” she added. “ **Just call your coach and tell her** ” Elias advised her. “ **Already sent her a message. Practice starts in September** ” Sana answered.


	4. POV Mutta : Loverboy

###  (Thursday 28 June, 2018)

Mutta was excited about visiting Las Palmas and seeing Chris again after almost three weeks apart. She had given him instructions on how to get to the apartment and mentioned that even though both she and Vilde would probably still be at work when he arrived chances are that one of their Danish romies would be home and they knew that he was coming. Otherwise he could just wait at the café at the corner until she came home. He didn’t even care about bothering the Danish girls and went straight to the café. What would he do in the apartment without Chris anyway? He ordered a soda and a sandwich and checked his phone for the millionth time the past half an hour. Only three minutes had passed since he last checked, no new messages from Chris, only a group message from Elias, saying that his date last night had gone well. Mutta answered something encouraging. Chris would for sure not be there until in at least another 45 minutes, she had not even finished working yet and he had no idea how fast she could get home from the resort. 

 

After finishing his meal, which took about ten minutes, he got restless and decided check out the surrounding area and go down to the beach. Chris had said it was about 15 minutes walk so he could make it there and back before she would be home. He passed a few restaurants on the way and started thinking that maybe he should apply for a job as a waiter here instead. Why stay on the Copenhagen ferry when he could be with Chris in Las Palmas? If she wanted him there, that is, they had not talked about it seriously. Suggesting it would be like suggesting that they should move in together and he was not sure they were there yet. They always had great fun together, but it still seemed like a big step. They had been together since Halloween, so almost 10 months now, and even though he had met her family a few times, he had only recently told his parents about her, to explain why he was going to Las Palmas.

 

Sure, they were maybe not an obvious couple, like Yousef and Sana, they were very different, but opposites attract. She was the funny girls that loved to get to know new people and be in the center of attention. He was much calmer, more shy and careful. They both had this weird love and obsession with the royal family and bulldogs. Well, he prefered French bulldogs and she English bulldogs, but still. They had never really talked about anything serious. He still knew she was special to him, because whenever he thought about her he could not stop smiling. It was not because he remembered a particular joke or a special moment or anything, it was just the idea of her that made him happy. 

 

And they did have a great sexlife. She was not afraid to show just how crazy she was about him and he loved it, it made him want to discover new things with her. She made him feel like a fascinating person although he knew that he was just an ordinary guy. She would call him her Aladdin and make jokes about rubbing his lamp and fulfilling her wishes. He argued that it was not Aladdin who could fulfill any wishes but the genie, and then she just said that he must be both.

 

At the beach he stopped and talked to some surfers and asked about the waves. This was really paradise on earth. He could go surfing all year round. And be with Chris, which reminded him that he should be heading back to the apartment. Once back on the right street he caught a glance of the back of a girl with a familiar Bulldog-bag and called her name right before the door to the apartment building closed behind her. He hurried up to the door and she almost knocked him over when she opened the door, just before she jumped into his arms. “ **You are here** ” she said enthusiastic. “ **Yeah, I said I would come** ” he answered before she covered him with kisses. He laughed and all his nervousness was like blown away. This really was paradise.

 

…

 

In the evening they went out with Vilde, her Spanish love interest Sofia, the Danish girls Mie and Signe and a couple of Swedish guys that worked at a restaurant down at the beach and were also into surfing. He mostly talked with the other guys, asking about surfing and how it was working there while Chris was trying to get to know Sofia a little better. She was not an islander or real Canarii, but from Madrid and she had been working there for almost two years with administration at a real estate agency. He noticed that Vilde seemed a little nervous and went to the bathroom a lot.

 

“ **Thank God you are here now! Chris has been missing you like crazy, she wouldn’t shut up about it. I think she needs some loving** ” Vilde said at one point. Mutta didn’t know how to reply to that. If he would had been like Adam, or even Elias, he would say something funny and confident like “ **Well, that’s why I’m here, to give her what she needs** ”. But he was not the kind of guy who could pull such a line off, especially not in front of girls. Chris would probably had love it though. Maybe he would say it when they were alone.

  
“ **I think we should go back home soon. I am getting up early for work tomorrow. And Vilde is right, I think I do need some loving** ” Chris said. Mutta got in a hurry and emptied the rest of his drink in one take and said “ **Ok, let’s go** ”. She liked it and it made her laugh like crazy. “ **That’s my man. Bottom up** ”. He got a little embarrassed but oh, how he just loved the sound of that laugh. They said goodbye to the others and left. 


	5. Group chat : Everything is better on Granka

###  (Monday 2 July, 2018)

Chris:  **Muttaboy just left :(**

**But I can tell you that everything is better at Granka! Even sex!**

Vilde:  **I can confirm that!**

**My date went well btw**

**Ok, we only kissed, but it was a really sexy!**

Noora: **[thumbs up]**

Eva:  **Good for you two**

**Ha, ha I am so looking forward to come there**

**does that mean I should dump Jonas before coming?**

Chris:  **(ha ha) come / coming!**

Noora:  **Eh... where is this discussion going?**

Sana:  **Ok... I’ll try to remember this for when we get married**

Vilde:  **But Sana, you must also visit us soon!**

**before you’ll get married, we might not be living here for two years**

Sana:  **I am looking into it! We had talked about going to Istanbul in the beginning of August but I think I might get Yousef to agree to change it to Las Palmas**

Noora: **Just threaten to postpone the wedding, that’ll work!**

Sana:  **Na, I don’t want to be too manipulative. Saving that trick for a real emergency situation**

Vilde:  **And bring your gorgeous brother!**

Sana:  **Elias? Why Vilde? I thought you were done with men**

Vilde:  **I am! I don’t want to sleep with him!**

**I just think he is nice to have around**


	6. POV William : First world guilt

### (Friday 6 July, 2018)

William was walking home with two grocery bags in his hands. He had been to look at an amazing apartment in west end of Oslo and right before leaving, Noora had sent him a list of what was needed at home. Milk, onions, potatoes, toiletpaper, eggs and feta cheese. He took a deep breath before entering the blue door into the house. “ **Here we go again. Let the circus begin** ” he thought to himself.

 

He had been living with Noora at Kollektivet for about a year now. In the beginning it had been fun, exotic and bohemian somehow. He had been so happy to be back with Noora, feeling like love actually would really conquer all, even when his dad cut him off financially. They had gotten so much closer, reached a whole new dimension of their relationship. But then the autumn and winter came and with both of them studying and never having enough money it just made him tired of everything. Nobody could live on student grants and loans he thought, not even if they lived like them, splitting costs in four. He had tried to follow Noora’s advice and sell of old designer clothes and items that he didn’t use anymore but he usually spent that money fast. Worse was that Noora was always seemed to be complaining every time he wanted to use it one something special.

 

When he entered the apartment she was there to meet him in the doorway, she have him a quick kiss but seemed more interested in the grocery bags. “ **William, you bought the fancy toilet paper again. And gourmet feta! It cost more than the double** ” she complained from the kitchen. William protested “ **No, I bought real toilet paper, not that rough type that you insist on buying. But I will make a note on the feta, I just took the packaged that I was most familiar with** ”. She gave him a loving but annoyed look “ **That is exactly the problem** ”.

 

“ **Look, I have been to see a really nice apartment today** ” he started and tried to show her the photos from the ad on his screen and described the place while she was preparing the food. “ **It’s in a newly built house, two bedrooms with bathrooms and an open living room solution connecting it to the kitchen area and a small terrace with a view over the park.** ” “ **Sounds expensive. And we don’t need two bedrooms** ” she commented. “ **The second bedroom is for guests** ” he explained. She looked at him as if he was saying something completely crazy. “ **We could have a bed sofa in the living room. Are going to tell me how much it costs, or do I have to guess?** ” she asked. He showed her the numbers, but first after he made sure that she had seen all the photos. “ **Are you crazy. We cannot afford that!** ” she outburst. “ **Yes we can. If I take from my trust fund** ”. he answered. He had a fond in his name from his maternal grandfather that he had not gotten access to yet. She looked at him doubtfully. “ **If I say that it is for living expenses while I am studying law, I will get it. It’s well invested money** ” he explained.

“ **Well, I cannot afford half of that rent. And I refuse to let you spend your trust fund on supporting me** ” she answered. “ **You’d just be renting from me instead. I’d give you the same rent as you have here** ” he tried, to make her compromise.

 

“ **Still, that is not who I am. This girl living off her boyfriend in a fancy apartment in the west end of Oslo** ” she explained and added “ **You know that** ”.

“ **Now you are just making things complicated. There is nothing wrong with having a nice comfortable home** ” he continued. “ **Comfortable? Don’t you realise just how lucky we already are, living here, having access to a good sanitary system, electricity, quality education, safety and not to forget fast wifi. Most people in the world would consider us very comfortable** ” she lectured him.

 

William sighed and tried to find a compromise “ **Ok, so if I donate 10% of my trust fund to a refugee organisation of your choosing, can I then get to spend the rest 90% on us?** ” She rolled her eyes at him and said “ **Dinner is ready. Tortilla and feta cheese salad** ”. They sat down and when he started eating he felt secretly satisfied for having bought the gourmet feta, you could taste the difference.  

 

Eskild and Linn showed up in the kitchen. “ **This smells really good** ” Eskild said. Noora was flattered and said “ **Thanks. Do you want some?** ”. Eskild answered “ **Well, I was just about to eat some cereal, but if you have made too much, sure, I’ll help you finish it** ”. Noora went up from her seat “ **I have made plenty, but I planed to bring with me for lunch so just let me make a lunchbox and then you two can have the rest** ”. Eskild and Linn took some food and joined them at the table.

 

“ **I’ve bought the ticket now to Las Palmas. We are going from Thursday to Monday** ” Noora told them now that they were all gathered together. William mumbled “ **So we can afford a trip to Gran Canaria but not real toilet paper** ”. He was a little hurt that she apparently was not thinking about going on a trip with him instead. “ **I found extremely cheap tickets. And we will be staying for free at Vilde and Chris place** ” Noora explained. “ **Beside, I am so restless and moody now that it is better for all of you that I get to go away a few days** ”.

“ **I hear you baby girl! Go, party, get it out of your system and then come back to us all zen. But don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!** ” Eskild said and winked at her.

 

…

 

Noora was finishing her short monthly call to her parents and came to join him in bed. It was ridiculous, they lived less than an hour away in Mjøndalen and came to Oslo all the time, but never to visit Noora. Still she was expected to visit during the Christmas holidays and on her birthday. The feeling was mutual, she was happier without them in her life. He was her family now and she was his. Not her self-centered parents, his disconnected mother, egocentric father or psycho brother.

 

William suggested “ **We could go on a nice trip somewhere together, just the two of us** ”. She answered dryly “ **Now that, a nice trip, we could probably not afford, Besides classes will start soon and I can’t take more days off from work** ”. William shook his head in disbelief and looked away. Was she for real? She didn’t want to go on a real vacation and she didn’t want to get proper apartment with him. What did she want with him? But then she put her hand on his arm and added with her sweetest smile “ **But I do like the thought of it”**.

 

Why did she do this to him? She made him give up his old comfortable lifestyle to be with her and right now, when he just wanted to hate her, she would look at him that way. He could not resist her, he didn’t want to either. She was so sensual, she managed to connect with him on a deeper level that any woman before her.

 

“ **Stop being so lovely, I am trying to be annoyed with you here** ” he said and then kissed her. “ **Don’t be annoyed with me. You love me and I love you and we will always be together. Say it** ”. He shook his head again, continued kissing her instead and pulled her closer.

 

She inspired him to want to be a better person, a good, free and independent man. But why did she have to make everything so damn complicated all the time? He knew that she had changed him, that he probably never could go back to be like he was before. But sometimes he missed it, not having to care about anybody or anything else than himself. He did love her. Why could she not just let him spoil her a bit. It was almost as if she didn’t think she deserved too good things in live.


	7. POV Eva : This is heaven

### (Thursday 12 July, 2018)

Eva was so excited about arriving in Las Palmas with the airport bus that she did a little salsa dance by the bus stop. Noora got embarrassed by her and pretended like she didn’t know her so Eva just had to tease her about it and called her name and exaggerated her freedom dance even more. Soon they heard a familiar voice calling their names. “ **Eva, Noora!** ”. It was Vilde who welcomed them by practically attacking them with a group hug. “ **Aaaah! It’s so cool that you are here! This will be the best birthday ever!** ” she said.

 

Vilde took them to the apartment where she was living with Chris and told them about the plan for the coming days. “ **Chris is still at work, but she’ll be home and take care of you around the time I need to go, I have the dinner and night shift today. But tomorrow and Saturday I am free and Chris is free the whole weekend so we’ll have plenty of time together. I thought we’d go to the beach, maybe visit the market and check out some of the local clubs. Or we can hang on our rooftop and drink Sangria and eat nachos. You will get to meet Sofia too off course, she is the best and knows everything.** ” Eva and Noora hadn’t gotten a chance to say much but Noora felt the need to interrupt Vilde and ask “ **Everything about what? Nobody can know everything** ”. Vilde answered enthusiastic “ **Everything about everything important. Like everything about Gran Canaria and love and sex. She is a few years older than me, came out as a lesbian four years ago and she has been living here the past two years. She talks about being true to yourself and quality instead of quantity, to not stress it, the love making, to focus on the moment and not only the outcome, you know.** ” Eva smiled and was really happy for Vilde. She was the same energetic girl as always and she seemed to be in a really good place here.

 

Their apartment was a bit scruffy with mismatching furniture and cracks here and there, but in a charming way. It had an ugly ass kitchen with awful green tiles. Vildes room had walls in a dark pink color and a white wardrobe and a bed. Chris room had red walls, a three drawer bedside table and a wardrobe. The rooftop terrace was not as charming as one might think, it was mostly used for hanging up laundry during day time, but Chris and Vilde loved it. Eva loved it to, it had a vibe of freedom.

 

Vilde had brought a radio up on the rooftop together with potatorings and wine. “ **Look Eva, they have potato rings here to. I immediately thought of you** ” she said. _Take me to church_ came on the radio and Eva started to think about Jonas and the first time they had kissed. He had told her that he had been waiting for a sign, and if the next song was _Take me to church_ he would had kissed her. It wasn’t, it was some Kygo song, but she must have felt the same and took the initiative to kiss him instead. It’s strange how much had changed since that first kiss.

 

Jonas had been her first real boyfriend, her first love. She could not resist him back then, she still couldn’t. In one way she had been his first real love too. They had this connection, this strong attraction. And yet, he had become too familiar. She always knew what he was going to say long before he opened his mouth. He was such a know-it-all and always politically correct. It was annoying. He was always best in everything, school, sports and games. And he was such a bad loser, due to lack of practice.

 

It was like he could not see his own faults. Or he was just too good at hiding them, keeping shady things secret from her and the world. She can’t remember ever seeing him really vulnerable. Upset and disappointed, yes, but not weak or vulnerable, never. Even the way he would apologise when he had done something wrong was perfect. It was never a real apology, but more like an explanation on why he had done what he did and that it was perfectly logical. How could he possibly understand her? She felt like a lot of the time he sounded like her mother, he spoke to her like a child and it just killed her vibe.

 

He had not asked or pressured her about what to do now, her future plans, for a long time. Still she knew that he thought she was wasting her time not knowing what she wanted to focus on, not being ambitious enough. When she had been offered the summer internship at the city hall, through her mother's contacts, he had been so happy for her. “ **Just do it, maybe then you’ll find out what you want to do** ”. But after only a week there she was convinced that the only thing she would find out there was that she didn’t want to work at the city hall.

 

…

 

In the evening they went out with Chris and the Danish girls and joined a group of people that Chris already knew a bit. They were all from different countries and also working there, most of them with tourism in some sense, a few at a call center calling their home countries. Eva started to think that she could do this too, just take a gap year, move to Gran Canaria and get a job somewhere. Maybe she could work with children, she would love that. She asked Mie, one of the Danish girls, who worked with kids at a resort. “ **You don’t need any prior work experience but it is normally required that you can show that you have some experience with children or youth** ” Mie told her. “ **Like what? Babysitting?** ” Eva asked. “ **Yes, that and a recommendation letter from the parents, or maybe coaching or being an assistant coach at some sport club** ” Mie explained. “ **Well me and Jonas took care of his little sister when his parents went on a weekend trip once** ” Eva suggested. “ **Eva, Thea is 16 years old** ” Noora pointed out. “ **Back then she was only 13. Besides experience with youth. I am or have been a youth. I’ve been to youth camps, language courses...** ” she answered but got quiet when she saw the unconvinced faces around her. Eva sighed and thought that then her next option was either to get experience from working with children really fast or perhaps apply for a job at one of the call centers on Gran Canaria that needed Norwegian speaking people.

 

...

### (Friday 13 July, 2018)

 

The next day was Vildes birthday and they mostly spent most of the day at the beach. In the evening they went out to have nachos and sangria just the four of them.

 

Half way through the evening Noora had started talking with Chris and Vilde about Williams plans to move out. “ **He is just trying to manipulate me to move with him. He thinks that if he moves, then I will start sleeping over there and gradually move in with him** ”. Eva felt like she had already heard this a million times before. Vilde defended William by saying “ **Well, he is the type of guy who has a certain pride and needs to feel like he is in control. I’m surprised that he has lived at Kollektivet this long. Just let him lead for a once and let him spoil you and make you happy** ”.

Noora was not convinced “ **Can’t he just make me happy for free. I would feel so bought if we would live like that** ”. Chris was confused “ **I thought he already was making you happy for free?** ”.

Vilde added “ **But when you lived together in London, you were living in an apartment paid by his dad, right?** ”. “ **Yes, and I hated it. That was one of the worst times in my life. I felt so... not independent** ”.

Chris added “ **You have such grown up problems. Fighting about independence, finances, pride… The only thing me and Mutta ever argued about is where to eat or who should be on top** ”.

 

“ **If William get that place, we could have really great new years eve parties there. Watching the fireworks from the terrace** ” Eva just realized and shared it with the group. “ **So I should move with him there for you guys?** ” Noora asked astonished. “ **Yes** ” was the collective answer from her friends. Noora sighted “ **I wish Sana was here now. It’s impossible to reason with you** ”.

Now Eva needed to protest. “ **Wait, Sana would agree with us. They have planned so that Yousef will take most of the cost when they get married and he is working and she is still in medical school. You can still be independent even if let him pay for more things because he has more money** ”.

Noora disagreed “ **We have very different types of relationships. They are getting married and one day Sana will make a lot more money as a surgeon. It might work for them but I don’t believe in marriage for us** ”.

Eva was not convinced “ **Wait, you say that it will always be you and William, but you don’t believe in getting married? What is the difference?** ”. “ **We are fine as long as we don’t get married and try to tie each other up. If we do that, we will either end up like my parents, who live together but secretly hate each other and only care about their sex-life. Or like his parents, who got divorced and openly hate each other.** ” Noora tried to explain.

 

Vilde was disappointed “ **So no wedding? Ever since Sana got engaged I have been looking forward to our weddings and have even imagined the type of party and the dresses all of us should wear** ”. Chris got excited “ **You have?! What will mine be like?** ”. “ **Your party will be the most fun. And you will wear a 50:ies style, cream colored, beautiful vintage dress with plenty of rustling petticoats underneath and purple lips and shoes. Or cerise. And there will be a live band playing and everybody will be dancing and oh, your father will cry a little when he dances with you** ”. Chris seemed touched and satisfied but needed to ask “ **And will it be with Mutta?** ”. Vilde tilted her head and answered “ **Well, I am not a fortune teller, but I can tell you that I think that Mutta would look really good in a vintage suit, bow tie and a mustache** ”. “ **Oh my god! You are so right. I am going to ask him to grow a mustache right now** ”. Chris exclaimed and got all giddy and send Mutta a message straight away. Also Noora had to smile at that sweet scene but held her position “ **Sorry Vilde, but I am still never getting married. Or ever having any children** ”.

 

“ **Hmm, you wished Sana was here. I’ll send her a message and ask what she thinks.** “ Eva continued. “ **Dear Sana, we desperately need your opinion here in Las Palmas! Do you think Noora will lose her independence by moving into an apartment that William mostly pays for?** ”. “ **Yeah. What would Sana do? Or say. She always says it like it is, no bullshit!** ” Chris added. Noora had to agree on that. They got an answer within a few minutes. It said “ **So I am your Guru now? Only Noora knows what is right for her. But in every relationship there has to be compromises. It is not necessary a sign of weakness or giving up. Just don’t compromise to the degree that you that you don’t lose yourself in the process** ”.

 

“ **See, Sana says you need to compromise!** ” Vilde exclaimed.

“ **Don’t you think I have tried? Why could I not have fallen in love with a more down to earth guy who had reasonable standards. Like Yousef or Even. I suggested that we should get an apartment like one of theirs. That would had been a compromise. But William just said that this bohemian lifestyle had been fun and charming for a year, but that he was done with it.** **_He_ ** **doesn’t want to compromise** ” Noora continued complaining.

 

Eva thought about it. She would not mind if her boyfriend pay for things, especially not if he had more money. Noora was just making life complicated. And what was the thing about not having children? Eva always wanted to be a young mother, so she would like to have children quite soon. Not now off course, but in a few years. Maybe they would get Jonas curls. That would be so cute, she had seen his baby pictures. But who knew, maybe she would not end up starting a family with Jonas after all.

 

They stayed out late and Eva had not been this drunk since the incident at Stavanger. She vomited in some bushes on the way home and then woke up again to vomit in the early morning. It brought back memories from the russe celebration in Stavanger, waking up at the emergency, her mother, Vilde and Noora watching over her. It scared he a bit. She needed to be careful with how much she drank.

 

Apparently she was not the only one up, she ran into Vilde on her way back to bed.


	8. Group chat : Back home

### (Wednesday, 18 July, 2018)

Eva: **I already miss Las Palmas!**

**and you two**

Vilde: **Las Palmas miss you to!**

Chris **: Especially one guy**

Eva: **Don’t remind me, he’s been commenting on insta**

**but Jonas has not even noticed anything**

Sana: **I’ve seen that**

**Who is he? What happened?**

Eva: **nothing happened really, we just had a good time**

Noora: **ha ha "a good time"? despacito style!**

**Is that nothing? Not sure I'd like if W had "a good time" with some random chick**

Vilde **: Sana, you should have seen it, super sexy salsa dancing**

**Eva, I am impressed! didn't know that you could dance like that**

Eva: **ha ha my hips don't lie!**

**But hey, I didn't invent salsa! and I didn't exchange any fluids with him, so "nothing"**

Chris **: who ever invented salsa is a genius! it is dangerous**

Eva **: **just a bit "** funny" when a random guy likes you more than your bf**

Sana: **Jonas needs to wake up!**

Noora: **I could had stayed much longer too, I really needed that break**

Vilde: **how is William and his apartment hunting going now?**

Noora: **idk, he seems set on one that he might buy it instead of renting**

**he says it’s an investment**

**feels like it would be a step backwards for us, if he moves**

Sana: **you two need to talk and be willing to compromise**

Noora: **I am trying, and then I just give up**

Sana: **Try some more**

Chris: **Sana did you get the tickets yet?**

Sana: **yes! for me and Yousef 30 july -3 aug**

**Elias is talking about going to**

Vilde: **Yeay!**

Sana: **he might bring a girl…**

Vilde: **What girl?**

Sana: **idk her, some random chick Sara something, waitress**

**Vilde, you are friends on FB**

**I said there might not be room with Mutta also coming the same days**

Vilde: **Aah that Sara, she is ok**

**we worked together a few shifts, then she got a new job**

Chris: **We’ll make room, the more the merrier!**

**and we have camping gear**

Vilde: **Yeah! Elias can stay in my bed**

**and Sara too**

Sana: **I’ll tell him**

**but he’ll have to book his own tickets, so idk if he’ll manage**


	9. POV Isak : Grown up points

### (Saturday 21, 2018)

Isak was watching Even and Yousef cook in Yousef’s kitchen. They had talk about it for weeks, Even wanted to learn some Turkish cooking. Or actually he first wanted to learn Moroccan cuisine but both Elias and Sana were hopeless in the kitchen. Yousef on the other hand liked cooking and was very willing to teach him all his tricks. They had been going on for hours. The others would be there in half an hour. It would be a real couples dinner with several dishes, even if Sana refused to call it that.

 

He loved watching Even cook and he almost got jealous seeing how absorbed Even was by everything Yousef was telling him. Even was always present in the moment and reactive to others around him. You could not be invisible with him. Even was for sure the best thing that had ever happened to him. And the worse, it was challenging from time to time. But he had found ways to get through the rough parts, he had people around him who supported them. Magnus had been a really good friend, helping him staying sane. He understood, considering his experience with his mother's illness. Jonas had also been a great friend, good to talk to when things got intense. The past year Even had started to hang out more with his old friends on his good days. Even if Even was a part of his friends group as well, it was good for them, as a couple, to also be able to spend time apart.

 

The spring had been intense for all of them. Finals at school, russe celebrations and anxiety for the unknown future after school. Jonas and Magnus had in addition to that both been having problems with their ladies. And even though Isak normally loved a little drama now and then, even he thought that it had been messed up. Like they were stuck in old circles. Magnus should just give up and let Vilde be a lesbian. She was obviously not in love with him, or even into men, and the dependency between the two of them was just bad. Going to Gran Canaria was the best thing she could have done, maybe now she would be free to find herself and real love. She had come out as a lesbian and now she needed to find the confidence to stay out. To be different than the norm no matter what people around her said, thought or expected from her.

 

And Jonas and Eva, they always had passion but now they just seemed to be in a codependent relationship as well. Insisting on making it work because none of them were ready to let go. Isak had understood from the beginning that they were no good for each other. No matter how much they tried it didn’t seem to work. They lacked a basic trust for each other. Jonas kept hiding things and Eva getting insecure.

 

Eva had been happier and freer when she had been single. After six month back with Jonas she had again become more needy, self-doubting and incapable of making her own decisions. The incident during russe celebration when Eva drank so much that she ended up in the emergency, just had to be seen as a cry for help. Like she was trying to escape herself or breaking free from all expectations. Off course it had not been Jonas fault, nothing of what happened that night. But he was not making it better either, he often just added to her stress and anxiety. Jonas just always had to be right and the best at everything while Eva almost failed to graduate school.

 

Sana was the first to arrive with a desert, shortly followed by Noora and William who had brought wine and flowers. Eva and Jonas were running late but had promised to bring some beer for those who prefered that. In an attempt to create some oriental atmosphere, and since they didn’t have eight chairs, they had created a low table and placed pillows around it on the carpet to sit on. Yousef had plenty of big blue-patterned fluffy pillows and blankets that they had bought for his and Sana’s engagement party.

 

On the menu was _pilav_ a buttery, toasted, Turkish rice, two types of _dolma_ , stuffed vine leaves and peppers, beef _köfte_ and _pide_ , a boat-shaped flatbread topped with spinach and cheese. “ **Wow, compliments to the two chefs!** ” Eva exclaimed when tasting the food. “ **So Even, now you know how to make these dishes? Yousef can I send Jonas on a course as well?** ” she continued. Yousef was obviously very flattered but just had to ask “ **What is it with you girls and cooking? Is it some kind of feminist protest going on, to not like cooking?** ”. Sana protested “ **Noora is a good cook and Eva bakes. It’s just me who is… uninterested** ”. Noora continued and defended her friend “ **Well at the cabin you did help a lot, Sana. You are capable when given instructions. Just like you said, you are uninterested. And so is Isak and Jonas to I think. So it's not a feminist thing, more of an interest thing, I guess** ”.

 

Isak raised his glass to make a toast “ **Well this was a great idea. It will give us like 100 grown up points to, having a couples dinner** ”. Sana shivered, he laughed at her, he had said it mostly to tease her anyway.

“ **So who has the most grown up point of all of us?** ” Noora asked. “ **My guess is Even, Yousef or William. After all they are the oldest** ” Eva suggested. Sana found it entertaining and made Yousef get her a pen and paper to write down the scores. Eva started “ **Even, Isak and Yousef gets 2 points each for having your own apartments. William and Noora 1 point for sharing a flat with friends and the rest of us -1 for still living at home. And every one who is still a teeager get -1** .” Jonas continued “ **I would give Even, Isak, William and Noora points for living together but Yousef and Sana 2 points for being engaged** ”. “ **One point for being a student and 2 points for working** ” Noora added. “ **No points for summer jobs or internships?** ” Sana asked. Noora answered “ **Ok Eva gets half a point for internship and 1 point for summer job seems fair** ”. Even contributed “ **I would give Yousef a million points for being good with kids and changing diapers. I doubt anyone else here has done that** ”. Sana smiled “ **Ok, I’ll put 2 point, we can’t put a million** ”. “ **Hosting a couple dinner is 2 points and attending only 1** ” Isak added. “ **We both get points then, right? We did this together** ” Even asked and Sana nodded.

 

“ **Do you get points or minus for drinking alcohol?** ” Eva asked. “ **It depend on how you drink it, I think. Anyone who has managed to drink and not vomited the past year gets 1 point, but if you vomited you get -1** ” Isak suggested. Sana seemed lost “ **I can’t possibly know who has vomited the last year. So confession time, raise your hand** ” and she looked around. Eva and Isak got minus. “ **Ok, who has managed to drink but keep your liquor?** ” she asked, resulting in hands from Even, William and Jonas. “ **Are we done? What’s the result?** ” Eva asked impatiently, while Sana summed everything up. Sana delivered the scores “ **You were right, the three oldest have the top scores, Yousef on 10, Even 8 and William 5. Me, Isak and Noora got 3 points each, Jonas 2 and the winner is Eva on -1,5!** ”. “ **Yes! I never get to win in anything!** “ Eva said victoriously.

 

Yousef protested “ **The winner?! I thought high score was good** ”. “ **No, nobody wants to be a grown up** ” Isak explained. Yousef still was not convinced “ **So you are all just a bunch of kids with Peter Pan syndrome?** ” he asked. “ **The fact that you know that it is called Peter Pan syndromes has just given you an extra point** ” Even said. Noora intervened “ **Then I want one as well, I knew that** ”. Jonas asked to look at the chart “ **I can’t believe Isak got higher score than me** ”. Isak noticed that William seemed annoyed and he found that a little funny. He liked William but found it interesting that both Even and Yousef got higher scores and that it seemed to irritated him. " **What’s my price** ” Eva asked. “ **To be forever young. Live with your mother, drink until you throw up and work as an intern for the rest of your life** ” Isak answered, met by angry protests from mostly Eva.

 

All in all it was  great night and people seem to be having fun. Jonas and William were talking about local beer brewers they had discovered while Even, Yousef and Noora was mostly talked about food and traveling. Eva was telling Isak and Sana about Gran Canaria. “ **Did you know Vilde already has plans for our wedding dresses** ” Eva asked Sana. Sana nodded. “ **And not just the dresses. She asked me a bunch of questions some time ago about Moroccan wedding traditions and Turkish traditions. I told her to talk to Yousef and Elias** ”. Isak joined the conversation “ **Even already has the menu set for our wedding. Mini burger** ”. Eva smiled at him “ **Oh, I didn’t know you were planning a wedding. Maybe you should get extra points before for being engaged then?** ”. Isak started to protest “ **No, no, no. We are not engaged. I said that** **_he_ ** **has already planned the menu. I was not at all involved in any of that** ”.

 

In the end of the evening Sana asked him if he had gotten his university acceptance letter yet. They had both applied to Oslo Medical School as their first hand choice, Sana had been accepted while Isak was number three on the waiting list. He had been accepted at the Medical School in Bergen, Gdansk and Copenhagen though. “ **We have to decide now. I don’t want to move but we have started to look at apartments in Copenhagen. Even is happy to move, but I am not sure it would be the best for him right now, or us** ” he explained. “ **Let’s just hope you will get a place. Number three on the waiting list is not impossible. You could also stay and apply again, to start in the spring. Maybe there are less competition than?** ” Sana suggested. “ **That is an option, I thought about it. Could you tell Even that? He might listen more if it’s not just me saying it. It is so soon to try and organise moving to Copenhagen, it just stresses me out**.” Isak answered.

He thought that a gap-semester or a gap-year wouldn’t really be that bad. Sure he had moved away from home but still got money for rent and expenses from his father and he had never had a real paid job either like most of his friends. Apart from maybe Eva and Jonas.

Copenhagen seemed like a great city, and maybe one day they would move there. But right now he liked their apartment and their life in Oslo, so why mess with that? Even had been more stable and had fewer episodes lately too. Who would know what a big change like moving to a new city would do with him? In Oslo they had people around them that cared for them but in Copenhagen they would be all alone in a new city and Even would need to find a new job.


	10. Group Chat : We are still young right?

### (Tuesday, 24 July, 2018)

Sana: **Ok, so Elias and Sara are also coming now**

Chris: **the more the merrier!**

Sana: **Are you sure you have room?**

Vilde: **I’ll sleep at my gf place, but hang with you as much as possible**

**so cool I have a girlfriend!**

Eva: **Sana, can I have Yousef’s number?**

Sana: **sure, why?**

Eva: **I want to ask Yousef about working with kids**

Sana: **you want to work with kids?**

Eva: **I like kids! why is everybody so surprised?**

**Jonas almost laughed in my face**

Sana: **I’m not really surprised, just didn’t know**

**and I can’t understand how Yousef does it, I get tired just meeting kids one hours**

Vilde: **I think it would suit you**

Eva: **thanks, or if not kids maybe young people?**

Chris: **like us? we are still young right?**

Eva: **yes, but I thought a bit younger like early teens, like in a youth center**

Noora: **that could also suit you, just try it and see how you like it**

Eva: **I plan to**

**screw Jonas! he thinks he knows me but he doesn’t always**

**he is still moping over the fact that Isak got more grown up points than him**

**William didn’t seem to happy either**

Noora: **It’s just that he’d like to have his own place**

**he thinks it’s juvenile to live like we do now**

**it just reminded him of that, getting lower points for that**

Chris: **I thought the point was to not have many grown up points?**

Eva: **it is! they are messed up and being all macho and competitive**

Sana: **talking about being competitive! Chris wtf! You got Mutta to grow a mustache and now they all want a mustache!**

Chris: **I know, it’s really great**

**I get updates on the progress almost every day**

**Me like!**

Sana: **No, no, no, it’s a terrible idea.**

**It only really suits Mutta, he seems to take it serious**

**Elias looks like a pervo, Yousef like he is 14 again**

**tbh I think they are mostly doing it out of laziness**

Chris: **blame Vilde, it was her wedding fantasy that started it**

Vilde: **come on, they’ll be cute once they learn to groom it**

**I’ll send them a guide**

Noora: **just go on a kissing strike! seriously Sana I thought you would know how to control you man**

Sana: **you’re so right I am getting too soft now**

**no more sweet Sana!**

**doesn't help with Elias though, still have to see him every day**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, somebody took a pregnancy test 4 days ago, and again yesterday, but she has only told one friend so far...


	11. POV Sara : The leader of the pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that his is a new original character and NOT Pepsi Maxi Sara Nørstelien. I felt the need to invent a person for Elias and create a new love story around them. And I though it could be interesting to see her first impressions of the others.

### (Monday 30 July, 2018)

Sara was wondering what she had gotten herself into. She was normally not a spontaneous person and now she had gone to Gran Canaria with Elias and a bunch of people that she didn’t really know. Thinking about it, she did not known Elias that well either, she had only known him for about a month really.

 

They met at a campus party in the end of June and he had said that he couldn’t figure out where he had seen her before. She thought that he was kidding, cause a few month earlier he had tried an entire evening to get her number while she was working as a waitress, serving him and his friends. When he was leaving the pub he had said “ **You brought me dinner, so the least I can do is get you breakfast tomorrow morning. Give me your number and I’ll call you when your shift ends. Come on, it’s my birthday!** ”. He didn’t get her number.

A week later he had been there again with only one of his friends and had been like different person. No flirty comments or asking for her number or to meeting up after her shift. But he had left a note for her saying “ **The breakfast offer still stands** ” together with his contact information. She didn’t contact him but had great fun watching his _Hei Briskeby_ videos with her friends. They all agreed on that he seemed like a player.

 

And now he was at a party, and apparently he didn't recognise her. She found it amusing to see what he would come up with now. He started guessing where he could have seen her before, and after a few serious guesses he got creative and came up with absurd options like on the Nobel Peace Prize Award dinner or on the interviews for joining the Mars One settlement. She had to laugh at that, he really couldn’t place her? “ **I was your waitress, on your birthday** ” she finally disclosed. “ **My waitress? I like that. I always wanted my own waitress. And you remember my birthday. That must be a good sign**.” he said cocky.

 

A second later he continued with a boyish smile “ **I remember now. You look different, your hair and clothes. Better like this** .” Then he hesitated but said “ **Sorry for being so… on to you that night. I understand now that you get that alot of it in your job, guys being intrusive, wanting to meet after your shift** ”. “ **Yeah. I’ve seen your video. But seriously, I thought it was a joke** ” she answered, referring to the _Hei Briskeby_ video where they all shared the most stupid things said to waitresses followed by laughter, an apology and a promise to never ever be an idiot again.

“ **You saw that? Now I feel a bit embarrassed. But no, it was not a joke, it was more just us trying to show how stupid we can be** ”. He really seemed embarrassed and it was kinda cute. He continued “ **Those videos, always feels like such a good idea when you do them and then after you are not so sure anymore. At least we make people laugh, right?** ”

 

She changed the subject and asked him who he knew at the party and what he did when he was not making stupid youtube videos. They ended up talking for about an hours about travelling and being the black sheep of the family. He had both a perfect older brother and a perfect younger sister. When her friends were about to leave to another party she said goodbye and he tried again “ **Seriously, let me take you out for breakfast tomorrow morning** ”. She raised her eyebrows and asked “ **Out?** ”. “ **Yeah, you can even choose the place, if it makes you feel better** ” he suggested. “ **Will you even be awake in time for breakfast on a Sunday morning?** ” she asked doubtfully. “ **Try me** ” he answered. She gave in and gave him her number and he immediately sent a message, with the excuse that he wanted test that it was real and good, now she had his number too.

 

They did meet for breakfast, and a quick coffee two days later. She tried to stay cool. She liked him when they were together but she had doubts when they were apart. He was probably seeing other girls to. It still seemed much like a game to him and he was good at it, being charming and funny, making her laugh and feel special.

 

Their first kiss came much later than she had expected. He didn’t strike her as neither the shy nor patient type. She had suggested going to an outdoor concert and they stopped on the way to look at a street musician. They were standing close together in a crowd and she leaned a little back at him. When the song stopped and everybody was applauding she turned to see if he had liked it and he tried to kiss her. She got so surprised that she stepped away from him, but quickly took his hand so that he would not feel like she was rejecting him. Guys can be so sensitive with these kind of things. He scratched his neck a bit confused and asked “ **Too soon or just too much people around?** ”. She answered “ **Too much people** ”. He took a quick look around and then said “ **Come** ” still holding her hand. They went down a block and ended up in an empty backyard by a startup business center. “ **This is where I work now during the summer** ” he explained pointing at one of the dark office windows. She nodded and leaned against the brick wall. He moved in on her slowly and kissed her softly. It took her breath away and she felt a little dizzy. He must had noticed the effect it had her, at least he seemed really pleased with himself. He put her head on his shoulder and embraced him. “ **What took you so long?** ” she asked. He was notably confused “ **What? You have been super skeptical to me this whole time. I am not going to kiss a girl who doesn’t even know if she wants to be with me or not** ” he explained. “ **And now you know that?** ” she asked surprised. “ **Yeah. You want to be with me for sure** ” he answered nodding convincingly at her and kissed her again.

 

…

 

Elias friend Mutta met them at the bus stop and took them to the apartment since both his girlfriend Chris and her roomie Vilde was working. Sara actually knew Vilde a little, they had worked together at a pub for about a month. “ **It’s so great to have you here. Chris normally works so I am often by myself during the days. But I found a great place to rent surfboards tomorrow.** ” Mutta said. Sara didn’t surf and turned to Sana and asked “ **Do you surf?** ”. Sana answered her short “ **Yes, don’t you?** ”. Sara felt a little intimidated by Elias sister, she couldn’t quiet figure her out. “ **No. I am not a very sporty person I guess. I only do Yoga** ” she answered. “ **I’m no good at surfing either. I prefer jet skiing** ” Yousef admitted to make her feel better. Yousef started telling the others about the waterproof case he got for his phone and about taking photos and making videos the next day.

 

When they reached the apartment Mutta started to show them the rooms. “ **Me and Chris will sleep on the bed sofa in the living room and Vilde at her girlfriend's place. So you can fight over Chris and Vildes rooms. Queen size beds in both rooms, so almost double standard. And they also have camping pads if anyone wants to sleep on the floor.** ” They took and quick look in the rooms before Mutta took them up on the rooftop terrace and showed the spot where it was possible to see a glimpse of the ocean.

 

Elias had put his hand on Sara’s lower back and said “ **It’s nice here** ”. She nodded. He looked at her and continued “ **Listen, about the rooms. I am not assuming or expecting anything, and then there is my sister, I don’t know. If you want to we can go to a hotel instead.** ” Sara answered “ **It’s ok, I am flexible. I can sleep with you or your sister. I mean share room with whoever** ”. It got a little awkward so they laughed at it. “ **That’s good to know. That you are flexible** ” Elias said with a wide smile, and she was not sure if he was teasing her or if he just could not help himself. Yousef and Sana had stayed behind in the apartment a little longer but had joined them on the rooftop now. “ **You can have Chris room and we’ll take Vilde’s if it’s ok with you** ” Yousef said. Elias seemed happily surprised. “ **Ok. Yeah, sure, whatever, we are flexible** ”, he answered.

 

The guys went out to get some groceries, Mutta had promised Chris to make dinner for all of them tonight. “ **And now that you are here Yousef I thought you’d help me. I think they are getting tired of my rice and chicken dishes** ”. “ **Sure bro, we’ll think of something that will blow their minds** ” Yousef answered.

 

…

 

When Chris and Vilde came home there was a lot of hugging and babbling in the living room. Vilde recognized Sara immediately and it felt good for her to feel like she almost knew the people she was visiting. They gossiped about their ex-boss and some colleges. “ **You should move and work here instead! Everything is better at Gran Canaria** ” Vilde informed her. “ **Well I am studying archaeology also, so that would be difficult** ” Sara answered. Chris seemed very friendly to and made sure to inform them that her room was the best because there were condoms and kleenex in the top drawer of the bedside table.

 

“ **I heard you have a Spanish girlfriend now. How is that going?** ” Elias asked Vilde. Vilde was more than happy to talk about Sofia and everything new that she had learn, and got a bit too personal. “ **I didn’t hate men before or anything. But being with a women is so much easier in so many ways, because, you know she’s a woman, so she already knows certain things. And I think the focus is more on the actual lovemaking and not only on the outcome, the climax. And it’s more relaxed, quality instead of quantity, but you don’t have to come all the time. It can be very good and pleasurable also without it, it doesn’t have to be seen as a failure. Men are normally too preoccupied with that I think** ” Vilde explained. Chris and Sana had heard this before and rolled their eyes. Mutta and Yousef exchanged looks, but Elias seemed interested, nodded and continued “ **I never thought about it like that. And I think you are right, most guys would probably consider making love with a girl incomplete without the… climax**.”

 

“ **Girl? Not woman. What are you, some kind of pedophile?** “ Sana asked acid, obviously annoyed with her brother. “ **Anyway I can’t sit here and talk about sex and climax with my brother. It is not natural** ”. “ **Come on Sana, are you censuring me now? We were talking in general terms. Not personal.** ” Elias defended himself. Sana was apparently not the only one a bit uncomfortable. Yousef and Mutta had not said a word and Sara was sensing a vibe and wondered what the thing was with Vilde and Elias. “ **Elias, it’s just weird. This is one reason why your group of friends and my group of friends should not mix in the first place** ” Sana added. “ **I’m happy we are mixing** ” Yousef said. “ **Me to** ” Mutta added.

 

Chris went to get more beer in the kitchen and Sara offered to help her. “ **So what is the deal with Vilde and men?** ” Sara asked Chris, figuring Chris seemed to be a laid back and the right person to ask such a thing. She did not want to seem like the jealous type infront of Sana. Chris smiled and started explaining “ **You know it is a bit of a mystery. She is not turned on by men and she does not fall in love with them, but still she has this obsession or appreciation for typical alpha males, like Elias. She just loves getting their attention. It’s some kind of daddy issues spooking around according to Noora** ”. Chris explained. Sara felt like she might had gotten more information than she had asked for, basically a psychological analysis of both Vilde and Elias. She had to ask “ **Like Elias? Is he a typical alpha male?** ”. “ **Oh yeah. The leader of the pack. Mutta and Yousef are just sweet puppies in comparison** ” Chris said and raised her eyebrows dramatically. “ **But don’t worry, he’s all yours** ” Chris added when she saw her reaction. “ **Here’s my puppy now!** ” Chris exclaimed when Mutta came into the kitchen. He answered with a barking sound having no idea of what they had been discussing. He was followed by Yousef and said that they were going to start making dinner now.

 

…

 

When Chris suggested that it was time to go to bed, because she was getting up for work in the morning everybody agreed on that they were all tired from the trip. Sara brushed her teeth, put on her pyjama and went to read a bit in their room. When Elias came to join her in bed he asked “ **Are you really tired from the trip or just a little tired?** ”. She answered “ **A little** ” and there it was again, that boyish smile on Elias lips. “ **What are you reading?** ” he asked. It was a book about archaeological sites on Gran Canaria that she had found at the library. She showed him pictures of Cenobio de Valerón, a site with more than 200 caves that had been used as granary by the canarii a long time ago. “ **The canarii were originally a berber-descending people from North Africa who moved to the islands before the Spanish conquest** ” she told him. “ **No way! Like me. I am part berber** ” Elias proclaimed. “ **Really?** ” she asked surprised. “ **Yeah. If we go surfing tomorrow we can go there the next day if you want** ” he suggested. “ **That would be nice. But it seems a bit of the track, it may be hard to get there** ” she said. “ **We can ask Chris if there are any tourist busses going there. Or we can just rent a car or a motorcycle** ” he suggested.

 

He took her book, closed it and put it away. “ **You were done reading, right?** ”. She stared at him. Was he not acting a little bit to dominant now? She was not sure if she liked it or not. Why did she have to go and fall in love with an alpha male? “ **Cute pyjama, so you like cats?** ” he commented on her cat-patterned pyjama. She nodded. “ **But if you want anything to happen tonight, you need to take if of. It just reminds me too much of a pyjama that Sana had when she was a kid. So it does nothing for me** ” he said dead serious. It left her speechless for a minute. So he was trying to get her naked by dissing her pyjama and making her feel childish and insecure? Even if she wanted to make him happy, to feel like he was pleased with her, this was not the way she had in mind. She felt the need to take control of this situation.

 

“ **Just close your eyes and use your imagination** ” she instructed him seductive. He laughed and did as told “ **Is this some kind of game? What are you going to do now?** ” he wanted to know. She unbuttoned all buttons on the pyjama shirt apart from one and climbed onto his lap facing him. Off course he opened his eyes to see what was going on. “ **Ok, I take it back. It is totally different when you wear it like that** ” he said with widened eyes and took of his own T-shirt. “ **Well now, you are just showing off** ” she commented flirty. He laughed “ **You have your tricks, I have mine** ” was his answer. “ **So, will I be needing to get something from the top drawer?** ” he asked hopefully. She shook her head “ **No. I thought that tonight we'll just... get to know each other a bit more and... sleep** ”. He nodded but had to ask “ **Any chance you’ll unbutton that last button?** ”. She shook her head again and said “ **No, not tonight** ” leaving the question hanging in the air for the coming nights. He slipped his hands under her pyjama shirt and caressed one of her breasts while stretching up his neck to kiss her. “ **You don’t know what you do to me** ” he mumbled. She felt in control and powerful looking down at him, but got a bit dizzy like always from the kissing.


	12. POV Yousef : Joining a cult

### (Wednesday 2 August, 2018)

Yousef woke up and tried to stay still and quiet to not wake Sana. It made him so happy to see her. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful sleeping there beside him on her pillow. He completely adored her. She was the most amazing person he knew and she had chosen him. It was a crazy thought, in two years they would be married and make love every night and wake up together every morning. Ok, maybe not every night, how often do people make love really, he was wondering. It was both wonderful and a torment to be this close, to hold her and sleep beside her.

 

He knew that she wanted him too, he could feel it, the electricity. She had her reasons for wanting to wait, valid reasons and he respected her for it. He didn’t feel like she was playing games with him, more like he was being tested. He somehow had to prove that he had a good character, that he could be patient and trustworthy.

 

In the beginning, right after he came back from Turkey he had tried a little more, to read her, to test and understand her boundaries. It had been a confusing time, for both of them. A smile or a kiss could feel like an invitation and messed with his brain. Did she want him, should he take more initiative, or did she not want that? The sparkle in her eyes was pulling him closer, still in those moments, he had to remember things she had told him. They had a few misunderstanding or arguments about it the year they had been together. She could be flirty and relaxed with him one day and then be on edge the next day.

 

Now, she was mostly off guard with him and it was just as much up to him to set the limits for what was ok or not. He knew and had accepted the terms, no sex until marriage. He tried to stay out of trouble mostly for his own sake, so that it would not get to emotional for him and to avoid to make her angry or disappointed with him. It was so much easier and safer to flirt online. She was also much bolder there. It drove him crazy, but in a good way. It made him imagine how it would be one day. Would she be shy or bossy with him? Probably a little of both. Damn, maybe sharing bed hadn’t been such a smart idea after all. Only one night left now, he thought with a mixture of sadness and relief.

 

He noticed that she was waking up and he got a little embarrassed when she caught him looking at her. “ **Take a picture. It will last longer** ” she commented sleepy. “ **I though taking pictures of sleeping beauties was creepy** ” he answered. “ **It is. But so is staring** ” she explained. “ **Ok, I’ll try to control myself** ” he answered. He also realised that he really needed to cool down and turned away from her and started to check his phone instead. “ **Don’t be grumpy** ” she told him and moved closer to embraced him from behind and kiss him between his shoulder blades. He caressed her arm in response.

 

Right before he had left Norway he had gotten a waterproof case for his phone from his father and was looking at the photos he took the day before when they were surfing. He was thinking how cool it was to have a fiance who could surf. Was there anything she could not do? She would be a great mother one day, he thought. She would read every book there was about child psychology and teach them to be fearless and true to themselves. He showed Sana the photos and asked which once were best to share. She rejected most of them but approved a few group photos and some surf photos. One was almost surrealistic of her taking on a big wave. “ **This is probably my favorite** ” he told her.

 

...

 

Yousef went to the kitchen to get more coffee. He could still hear Elias and Sana argue in the living room. Typical siblings quarrel, but he was used to it. “ **No Elias. I remember that grandpa taught us some bereber words but he never said that we are part berber.** ” Sana said. “ **Maybe he said it to me. It is possible that I know something that you don’t. Anyway, you were like ten when he died, you knew nothing about ethnicities then** ” Elias argued. “ **Sure I did, I have always been very aware** ” Sana continued. “ **Ok, we’ll just ask dad when we are home and we’ll see who is right** ” Elias said.

 

Yousef saw that he had gotten a message from his mother. “ **Hey Elias, my mom liked a group picture from yesterday. Apparently she is with your mom now. And she is asking who Sara is. Should I just make it easy and say that she’s a friend of Chris and Vilde?** ” he asked. Elias nodded “ **That sounds good. I can hear that you finally learned how to lie properly from Sana** ”. Sana protested “ **It’s not a lie if it’s true** “. “ **Do you even hear yourself? You talk like a politician** ” Elias said. “ **But it is true, Sara is a friend of Chris and Vilde now. Right Sara? You even knew Vilde before you came here** ” she argued. “ **Those are the best lies, that could be twisted into a truth** ” Elias responded. “ **Still not a lie. And there is a difference between keeping things private and actively lying and deceiving people** ” Sana insisted. “ **Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night** ” Elias answers.

 

Sara was following the battle confused. “ **Why is it even a problem to tell your mother?** ” she asked Elias. Yousef decided to answer in his place. “ **It’s not a problem, just easier. You see, they have the Bakkoush system. When things get serious, you’ll just start to hang out at the house as Sana’s friend for a few months and then make it all official. By then they already know you and you’re part of the family** “. Elias turned to Sara a reassured her “ **You don’t need to worry about this now. The Bakkoush system is flawless. It worked for my brother and Jamilla, it worked for Sana and Yousef, so just chill** “.

 

Elias kissed Sara on the forehead and added “ **So are you ready to take a ride with me to those berber caves?** ”. She nodded and got her backpack and then they left. Yousef wondered if Sara would ever see the inside of the Bakkoush house. Was she really the one for Elias? Or was she just playing him. He can’t remember ever seeing Elias this attentive to a girl before. Seriously, Elias didn’t give a crap about any old caves. Unless he had other plans on what to do in those caves. Yousef felt a sting of jealousy. Damn, Elias was a genius, taking his girl on a motorcycle ride to a remote area with 200 caves, it all made sense now.

 

…

 

It was their final night at Gran Canaria and they had been out the night before so now they were just chilling out having pizza at the rooftop. “ **Maybe you should go easy on the beer?** ” Mutta suggested and Chris got noticeably annoyed with him. “ **I am not drunk! I am just tired** ” she answered but still went down to the apartment to get some juice instead. Mutta had seen that Yousef noticed it and lean in and explained. “ **I don’t mind her drinking, but when someone drink so much that they start to vomit, I just think it’s a sign that it’s too much** ”. “ **Did she vomit?** ” he asked surprised. “ **Not today, but yesterday** ”, Mutta answered worried.

 

“ **Isn’t it great here. Always summer. You could all just move here and we could get a bigger place and live all of us together. Ha ha, and we could have a bunch of babies. Yousef, you could take care of them right? You always wanted 12 kids** ” drunken Vilde said. Yousef was surprised and wondered if Sana told her friends everything. Sana was just laughing at the idea and said “ **Yeah, right, we could start some kind of cult, sharing everything** ”. “ **Sharing is caring** ” Chris added.

“ **I’d love it! Oh Eskild would love it to, he has to join. And Eva, Noora oh, and Isak and Even to. And for me it is perfect too. I mean, even if I am a lesbian, I would like my children to have good father figures that are present in their lives. I feel like never got that myself and I was always so jealous of my friends who had fathers.** ” Chris nodded “ **You know, that actually explains a lot** ”.

 

The guys were laughing nervously and looked at each other, not sure how much was crazy talk and how much was half serious. And then Chris asked what Yousef was thinking but did not dare to formulate “ **But, now that you quit men, are you expecting, like our men to help you with the actual baby making part as well?** ”.

“ **Oh, to find a guy for that is not so difficult, besides it only takes a few minutes** ” Vilde answered. Sana tried to swallow a laughter and answered “ **It sure would solve the 12 kids dilemma for me. And I guess they’ll need surgeons on Gran Canaria as well. I’m all in!** ”. Yousef stared surprised at her. Did she just pimp him out? Sometimes it was like she became another person with her friends.

 

Mutta suggested a last late night swim in the ocean, since they were leaving in the morning. Chris said that she was too tired for it and Sana decided to stay too. Vilde had other plans and left and Sara said that she had a book to read. So in the end it was only the guys going.

 

On the walk down to the beach they talked and laughed at the cult idea. “ **Seriously, was Vilde trying to recruit us to be baby daddies?** ” Elias asked. “ **All this baby talk is making me really jumpy** ” he added. “ **Yeah, but the strangest thing was Chris and Sana! What the fuck! They just went along with it, like it was totally ok with them. I mean even as a joke…** ” Mutta remarked.

“ **Well I think, and hope, it is because they don’t take any of it seriously. But still Sana can be so different when she’s with them** ” Yousef said. Elias shook his head “ **No, she’s not. She is different with you** ” he explained. “ **She is?** ” Yousef asked surprised. “ **Yes!** ” both Elias and Mutta answered unison. “ **Sana was always bad ass. Now with you, she is just so much softer. But you are partly right, those girls together are a little like us together, everybody competing on who is the rawest** ” Mutta explained. “ **Chris is the same, another person alone than in a group. Still funny but much softer and... more vulnerable** ”.

 

“ **I hope this trip has not scared Sara of too much** ” Elias said. “ **Why should it? We’ve all had fun together, right?** ” Mutta said and then asked “ **Has things been good, between you?** “. “ **Yeah. It’s all good. She’s one fine girl. And smart. She is really into North Africa too, especially Egypt and she is even thinking about learning some Arabic. So off course I said I could teach her some** ” he said happily.

 

Yousef was not so sure about Sara. Sure she seemed like a nice girl but somehow he thought Elias was more in love than she was. So he said “ **Just make sure that she is really into you, for you** ”. Elias got offended “ **What the fuck Yousef! Now you are just being an ashole. Why would she not be into me, for me?** ” Elias said hurt. “ **You know, everybody cannot be like you and Sana, and fall in love as teeagers and already share friends** ”.

 

That made Yousef feel guilty so he apologised. He realised that he was being prejudice. Just because he had been burned by a Norwegian girl himself once it didn’t mean that Sara was insincere. Still he believed that relationships would be a lot easier if you had more common backgrounds. He and Sana didn’t always agree on everything, but they still understood each other and shared core values. He was not sure that was true for Elias and Sara, or for that matter for Mutta and Chris. Sure they were having fun for now but did they have what it takes to make it last?

 

“ **You are being a bit grumpy now. What’s the matter, did Sana make you sleep on the floor on a camping pad or what?** ” Mutta asked Yousef. “ **That my friend is none of your business”** Yousef answered with a smug smile. “ **Seriously Mutta, don’t ask. It’s my sister you are talking about** ” Elias protested. Yousef laughed. It was funny how uncomfortable Elias could be when his sisters lovelife was mentioned. It’s like he both wanted and didn’t want to know what was going on. But it really was none of their business.

 

“ **I am seriously thinking about moving here to** ” Mutta revealed and changed the subject. “ **I have talked to a few restaurants and resorts and left my CV with them. Why should I work as a waiter on the ferry when I can be here with Chris and even surf?** ”. “ **I feel you** ” Yousef answered. He could imagine doing that too. Maybe next summer, they could go there for a summer job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sana knows by now, so in the next chapter she will tell you who is pregnant


	13. POV Sana : Flying home

### (Thursday 3 August, 2018)

Sana hated flying. She was sitting by the window and holding Yousef’s hand in a tight grip. He didn’t seem to mind, he was probably enjoying it, being her comfort. The days in Las Palmas had passed by so quickly. Surfing daytime and spending the nights beside Yousef, partly wrapped up in his arms, had been wonderful. He was so sweet to her, never crossing any lines. She knew it was not always easy to be close, she had noticed that he got tense and had to turn away from her at times. But it was still pure happiness being together like that. A reminder that he was hers and she was his and they belonged together. She would miss it when they were back home.

 

Sana was also thinking about what Chris had told her the last night when they were alone on the rooftop terrace. She had sensed that something was off with Chris and had worried that they were drifting apart. That things would change now that they did not meet in school every day. That maybe they just didn't have enough in common to keep their friendship alive.

 

“ **I’ve got a bun in the oven, so to speak** ” Chris had said, but it took a moment for Sana to realize what that meant. She knew the expression, it just seemed so unlikely. Once the message had gotten through Sana’s reflection system she got focused and technical and started asking Chris questions. “ **How far along are you?** ”. Chris seemed worried and answered “ **I’m not sure, I think I’m in week 6?** ”. Sana took up her phone and asked “ **When did you have your last period? The first day of your last period?** ”. “ **June 18, my first day at work here** ” Chris answered, sure on the facts. Sana filled in the date on an online pregnancy calculator on her phone and answered, “ **Yes, week 6 should be right** ”.

 

Her next question was “ **Are you sure? You took the right test, not an ovulation test like Vilde did once? The packages look almost the same** ”. Chris shook her head “ **No, I’m sure. I have taken three tests now, every time I start to doubt it I just go and buy a new test. I might as well get one of these 10-packs they sell at the farmacy** ” Chris answered. Sana did some more searching on her phone. “ **Ok, seems like a false positive is practically impossible. So, expected date of birth would be March 25, 2019** ” she informed her friend. “ **How are you feeling?** ” was the next question and it made Chris break down and hyperventilate. “ **I, eeh I don’t know. Ok, not ok? How am I supposed to feel?** ” she wondered.

Sana moved closer to her and hugged her. Chris continued speaking “ **I have some nausea but mostly I am just more tired than normal and I’m pretty sure my boobs are bigger. Fuck Sana, what should I do?** ” she asked.

“ **I cannot tell you what to do. But I will do my best to help you in anyway I can** ”. Sana answered.

 

“ **It’s insane. Most of the time I forget about it or I don’t really believe it’s true. Then I take another test and boom, it gets right back to me** ” Chris explained. “ **When did you find out? Have you told anybody else? Vilde or Mutta?** ” Sana asked. Chris dried some tears from her face with the sleeve of her sweater. “ **Only Vilde. I found out last week, right before Mutta and you guys came. Do I have to tell Mutta?** ”.

Sana looked at her compassionately and asked “ **Don’t you want to tell him?** ”.

“ **I don’t know. I feel like such a screw up, getting knocked up. And things are so good between us now, I don’t want that to change** ”. Sana stroke her friends arm and said “ **Mutta is responsible for this, he’ll have to support whatever you want. But you don’t have to say or decide anything tonight**.”

They sat up and talked on the rooftop until the guys came back from the beach, being all wet and happy and smelling like the ocean.

 

Now on the flight home it felt strange to see Mutta sitting on the other side of Yousef. He had not showed any signs on anything being different. Maybe he knew, maybe Chris told him to last night. Maybe not. Maybe he knew that she knew. She tried to avoid looking at him too much. Either way she could not tell Yousef or anybody else, she promised Chris.

 

Chris had asked her what she would had done if it would happen to her. It felt like an impossible question, but she tried to imagine a similar situation. “ **If, I would get pregnant before getting my medical degree, I would keep it and love it. But I would probably be a bit bitter and secretly hate Yousef a little and curse his sperms until I had recovered the time I lost, until I was back on track** ”. It was an honest answer, implying the consequences of such a decision. She would not herself be capable of removing a genetic composition of her and Yousef. And since she believed in the concept of fate, she could not see a pregnancy as a pure accident. It got to have a meaning. Maybe the child born would grow up to do something extraordinary. Or maybe the whole situation was a test or there was an important big lesson to be learn here.

 

Sana and Elias father was picking them up at the airport. It was really not necessary, the airport train only took about 20 minutes to the city center, still it felt nice to be a little spoiled after the flight and be picked up by car. The problem was there were five of them travelling together and only four passenger seats in the car. Both Mutta and Yousef offered to take the train. Yousef said that Mutta had a longer trip with the train and Mutta meant that Yousef should go with his fiance and that his apartment was more on their way. Also Sara said that she could take the train. “ **No, no, no** ” Elias protested. “ **You need to be in the car when we settle the berber-issue with my dad** ”. In the end Mutta took the train.

 

When their father arrived he hugged them all and got introduced to Sara. In the car Elias asked him. “ **So baba, we have a disagreement to settle about our bloodline. I told Sara here that we are part Berber but Sana means that we are not and that grandpa only learned to speak bereber because he likes languages** ”.

Their father laughed at the question. “ **You are both right** ” he answered. “ **How can we both be right?** ” Sana wanted to know. “ **If you ask me, I would say that you are for sure genetically part Berber or Amazigh like they prefer. Most moroccans are. But culturally and linguistically we are arabs. Your grandfather and your mother learned their language because they love languages, not because they are connected to any of the three Amazigh tribes in Morocco today** ” he explained.

 

Sana hated to be wrong just as much as Elias and noticed that both Yousef and Sara were amused and tried not to laugh out loud at them. “ **Sara, how come you are so interested in Morocco?** ” their father asked her. “ **Oh, I am studying archeology and we visited a site on Gran Canaria were the original inhabitants had lived. And they were originally Berber from North Africa so, that’s who the discussion came up** ”. “ **Archeology? That is interesting** .” he continued. “ **And do you study here in Oslo?** ” he asked. “ **Yes** ” she answered.

 

They dropped Sara of at her apartment first and they all said goodbye to her in the car. Elias went out to open the door for her and he nodded and said bye, he did not kiss or even hug her. Sana felt sorry for her. She understood why Elias wanted to wait with the whole family introduction thing, they had only recently met. Still after sharing bed for three nights it seemed a bit cold of him to part from her like that. She noticed him doing something on his phone and hoped he was writing Sara to make up for his lousy goodbye.

 

Before they reached Yousef's address he leaned over and whispered to Sana “ **Thank you for letting me sleep beside you** ”. “ **Yeah, yeah. It was nice but we should not make it a habit** ” she answered. “ **I know** ” he answered, still smiling too much.

  
At home their mother hugged them, offered food and asked them how the trip had been. “ **It was good. Really nice to meet Chris and Vilde again and we did some surfing** ” Sana answered. “ **Yes, I saw some photos. They had Mutta and one more friend visiting too. Wasn’t it very crowded for Chris and Vilde? To have you all sleeping there** ” their mother asked. “ **Oh, no, they had managed it well. I slept in Vilde’s room and the other girl Sara slept in Chris room and they had a bed sofa in the living room. We were not all in the same apartment either. They had plenty of camping pads and sleeping bags also** ” Sana explained. “ **Sara seems like a nice girl. She is studying archeology here in Oslo** ” her father added. “ **Where did the boys sleep?** ” was her mother's next question. “ **Oh, they also slept in an apartment with mixed Norwegian and Danish people.** ” Sana answered without any hesitation. Elias had his back to their mother so she could not see his face while he was silently laughing at Sana’s explanations. She kicked him on the leg when their parents couldn’t see. She had not said one single lie. And either way it was none of their business how they had slept on Gran Canaria anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Chris has told Vilde and Sana and you know to.  
> Should she tell Mutta or not? How would he react if she did?  
> What would feminist Noora have to say about it? And Eva...


	14. POV Chris : All alone

### (Thursday 3 August, 2018)

The apartment felt so empty now that Mutta and the others had left. Vilde was at work and the Danish girls had gone out. So Chris was all alone at home. Chris got out of her work clothes and into some sweats and crawled up in bed with her computer and a bag of potatorings. She had very little appetite these days, mostly craving salty things like the potatorings, olives and salty licorice. She felt a little lonely and decided to call her mother like she had promised.

 

It was nice to hear about normal at home. Her father had finally fixed the garage like he had talked about doing the passed five years. High five dad! Her sister had nailed a prestigious internship at the embassy her last semester of Business school. “ **We all really miss you Chris. The house is not the same without you and now the summer is soon over and your sister is going back to Stockholm** ”. Chris felt touched and missed them to but said “ **But you have dad** ”. Her mother answered “ **And he misses you too. We are even thinking about getting a dog again** ”. Chris got excited “ **A bulldog? If you get a bulldog I’ll be on the next flight home!** ”. “ **Then we just might have to get a bulldog** ” he mother answered.

 

After the phone call home Chris felt even more alone. She thought about calling Noora and Eva, or Mutta, to tell them. She remember Vildes reaction when she first told her. She had gotten all excited and hugged and congratulated her. She said it was amazing and that she and Mutta would make the cutest kids and Mutta would be so happy. “ **Why would he be happy?** ” Chris wondered doubtfully. “ **Well, he is a muslim. They love kids. Yousef wants 12 of them** ” Vilde answered like it was an established truth. Chris was not as convinced “ **I am not sure that is always true. And Yousef is not even a muslim. Either way I am not so sure he wants babies now** ”. “ **I read somewhere that if it wasn’t for the muslims having babies, the population of Norway would go down and it would be very bad for our future pensions.** ” Vilde explained.

 

When Vilde noticed that Chris maybe was not as excited about the pregnancy she became very supportive and said that she could go with her to the clinic and hold her hand. Vilde was her oldest and closest friend. She was not always the brightest or the most cultivated. She had her own understanding of the world, often quiet simplified, but there was nothing malicious in her, she always meant well.

 

Mutta would probably not even be home yet. And once he was home he would want to spend time with his family and friends the few days before he needed to go back to work on the ferry on Sunday. He was the sweetest, but if she would tell him, he would probably freak out and start to worry. She could at least wait until he was back on the ferry.

She really did not look forward to telling him. This could be the end of them. So far it just been fun and she would lie if she said it wasn’t a lot about sex. She like being with him because he made her feel like sexy, like a goddess. It was not because of all the deep conversations or shared interests. They never talked about their future dreams, their families or the meaning of life. It had been easy, no drama and no tears. He was not the one she went to when she was sad or troubled, so that made it even more awkward to tell him this.

 

They had been together for about 10 months, but she realised that she still didn’t know him that well. Did he like children? How would he react if she told him? Maybe she would never see him again. Apart from on Sana’s wedding perhaps. She felt like she was not ready to lose him quiet yet.

 

She looked at her belly and wondered if it had gotten any bigger or if it just felt like it. But it was mostly her breasts that had changed, gotten bigger and more sensitive. And she was always tired, when she had to hurry to work or walk up a hill. She had really tried not to show anything to Mutta or her friends when they had been there. She even pretended to drink beer, even though she didn’t feel like it, just so that nobody would get suspicious. And she had blamed her nausea on alcohol when Mutta noticed it.

 

Chris knew exactly the moment it happened, maybe not the moment of conception but the event that lead to it. It was in the morning the 1st of July and they were being lazy in bed fooling around in their pyjamas. They had made love the night before, it had been good, but nothing like that morning. She had felt like her body was a field that needed to be plowed. She had never wanted him more, like she would explode or die if she didn’t get to have him. She told him that and he laughed and liked it but thought that she was joking or exaggerating. She got him alright, a bit more than she was hoping for. Damn!

 

Telling Vilde about the pregnancy had felt like a fantasy, but telling Sana made it seem more real. Like a confession. It is first when you have uttered the words that it is really true, that you can understand it and take responsibility for it. Should she tell Mutta or not? She was not sure. She might as well tell Noora and Eva and hear what they thought. But not tonight. She hugged her soft bulldog that Mutta had given her for birthday. They had named it Harald after the king. She had never felt so lonely. Three hours left until Vilde would be home.

 

 

### (Monday 6 August, 2018)

On Monday Chris was alone again in the evening. The weekend had been ok. Chris and Vilde had spent it with Sofia going on a daytrip to Teror and San Mateo, two towns in north-central Gran Canaria and visiting their popular markets. It was very different compared to Las Palmas. The could see some enormous ravines typical of the island from the bus and reaching 600 meter the landscape was green and fertile. Chris liked Sofia. Even though she rarely laughed at her jokes. There must be something lost in translation. Or she was just too mature for her jokes.

 

She checked her phone and found some messages in the group chat from mostly Eva who was complaining about something Jonas had done, or not done. Chris added “ **Well here in Las Palmas I am sitting all alone but eating for two with a bun in my oven** ”. Eva was quick at answering “ **wtf Chris, it can’t be that bad** ”. Chris just wanted to get it of her chest and have some company, and to talk with them and continue to pretend that all was ok was not an option anymore. “ **It is, I am knocked up! Eating for 2 is bs though, with the nausea** ”. Noora answered now “ **What? Ok I’m already on my way to Eva, skype in 15 minutes? Sana, are you coming?** ”. Sana answered “ **No, but skype without me, I already knew** ”. And then Chris waited. She felt very conflicted, like wanted to talk about it and ignore it at the same time.

 

When she saw her friends worried faces on the screen she almost regretted telling them.

“ **Bloody hell, look at you two. People get pregnant all the time! It’s not like I said that I have cancer!** ” Chris exclaimed.

Eva was first to answer “ **So, should I say congratulation? I am mean are you happy about it. It was not planned right?** ”. Chris “ **No, it was... it is a bit of a shock. Noora, says something** ”.

Noora cleared her throat and started hesitant “ **How far along are you? And are you 100% sure?** ”. “ **I am in week 7 according to the app, size of a blueberry. I am sure. I have done so many pregnancy tests now, four I think, I even bought a 6-pack the last time at the farmacy** ”.

 

“ **But… you are not planning to keep it, are you? And become a teenage mum?** ” Noora asked and it sounded a bit accusative. “ **Well I would be 20 by the time it arrived if I would keep it. Right now I am more worried about telling Mutta. Should not tell him... or tell him... or not? How do you even tell such a thing. By the way you knocked me up? I am carrying a bit of you inside me?** ” Chris answered.

“ **Oh fuck, fuck fuck** ” was Eva’s contribution to the discussion. Noora gave her a look to get a grip on herself and then answered Chris.

“ **You don’t have to tell him. Unless you plan to keep it, there is really no need to tell him. It's a women's issue, your body.** ” Noora answered. “ **Yeah but isn’t it a bit dishonest? And it’s not only, purly a women's issue, I mean he was kinda essential for it to happen** ” Chris continued.

“ **Do you remember when you got a urinary infection, after the first times you had sex? Well he was kinda essential for that to happen to. But you didn’t feel the need to talk to him about it then, did you**?” Noora argued.

Chris remembered, it had burnt like hell when she peed and she couldn’t drink any alcohol during the week the antibiotica treatment lasted. It had been the same in the beginning with Kasper. “ **There was no need to tell him, he was on the ferry, and it was over by the time he got home** ” she answered.

“ **Well, it can be the same now. Do you know when you'll meet the next time? Or maybe you should come home to Oslo for the abortion? Have you checked up your options on Gran Canaria?** ”.

 

Eva looked strangely at Noora and they started a discussion among them two. “ **It's a bit strange to compare pregnancy to a urinary infection, though** ” Eva said. “ **Is it now? It's located in the same zon, she got it from having sex, it’s unwanted and it can still be treated with a couple of pills** “ Noora answered. Eva protested “ **It can be treated with a couple of pills? Seriously? Like a disease** ”. Noora continued “ **It’s an invasive problem that needs to be solved. Don’t make it into something it’s not** ”. Eva seemed even more annoyed “ **Ok, you don’t ever, ever want to have kids, so I get that you wouldn’t want to keep it. But why would it be such a strange thing if Chris wanted to keep it? I don’t think becoming a young mother is necessary the worst thing that could happen. We are not sixteen anymore** ”. Noora objected “ **Now, it wouldn’t just** **_happen_ ** **. She can still choice for it to not happen** ”. Chris felt like a child watching her parents argue and didn’t know what to say. They seemed so caught up in this. “ **If you get pregnant, then you get to choice** ” Noora added. Eva laughed bitter at that “ **Fat chance of that happening now. Anyway now it’s about Chris and supporting her choice no matter what it is** ”. They both turned to look at Chris.

 

“ **Oh, hi. I almost thought you forgot about me** ” Chris said, but not in a sarcastic way. “ **I honestly don’t know what I want** ” she answered. Noora tried to help her out “ **Ok. If you would not be pregnant now, would want to get pregnant? Do you feel ready to have a baby?** ” she asked. Chris shrugged “ **Does anybody ever feel ready for that?** ” she asked. “ **And then there is the other issue. Mutta**.“ Noora continued. “ **Is he ready? In one way deciding who to have a baby with is more serious than to get married. If you marry you can still get a divorce. But if you have kids together you will be connected to him and his family for the rest of you life.** ” Noora’s argument and frightened Chris. “ **Fuck! I never thought about it like that before. Fuck!** ” Chris answered alarmed.

Eva tried to calm her down “ **Don’t worry, Mutta doesn’t seem like a psycho. He is sweet guy, like Yousef** ”. She got a harsh look from Noora.

 

Chris felt like she had enough of this and tried to change the subject by asking about their lives. Eva told her that things were strange with Jonas and that it was affecting their lovelife. Noora mentioned that classes were starting soon and that meant that she would work less and have less money. And that William was still set on moving out, so that would mean even less money. Chris told them about the trip with Sofia in the weekend and they ended up talking about Vilde and Sofia before they finished the call.

 

Chris felt exhausted and not much wiser after their conversation. She had a huge decision to make and she didn’t even want to think about it.


	15. POV Vilde : I already think you are good

###  (Friday, 10 August, 2018)

Vilde went straight to Sofia after work. They had been together over a month now, 44 days to be precise. Things were really good and she could imagine this developing into something serious. She remembered the moment she had first seen Sofia in real life. They had decided to meet by Plaza de Santa Ana and Sofia was sitting by one of the dog statues waiting for her. She couldn’t tell if it was her summery T-shirt or the cute sneakers she was wearing, or maybe just the way she stroke her long dark hair behind her ear or her amazing smile when she noticed Vilde coming over to her. But from that moment, Vilde knew that she wanted spend a lot of time with this woman.

 

On her online profile Sofia had put “just me” on describing what type of lesbian she was. Vilde would probably categorize her as chapstick and herself as lipstick, Sofia was more down to earth and probably less interested in designer clothes than herself. Sofia found those categories stereotype and useless, but Vilde liked to be able to put words on things, it helped her understand herself. Just like described on her profile, Sofia was a calm and friendly person and she spoke good English. It made things easier since Vildes Spanish was not that good yet, at the resort most guest were Scandinavian so she didn’t get enough practice.

 

They went for Italian food, that first date, and talked long into the night, neither one of them wanting to leave or end the conversation. Sofia knew all the best places for comedy shows and live music on Gran Canaria. She liked travelling, and the most north she had been was Denmark, or Scotland. They tried to google which was most north but gave up and did not get much wiser. She would like to go to Norway one day, to see the fjords and hike in the forests. Vilde told her about the times she had gone on day trips in the forest with her grandfather when he was still around. They talked about different TV-series that they liked, hiking, scuba diving and snorkeling. Both of them wanted children one day and none of them were very religious but liked religious Christmas songs. Sofia had a cat at home and a cat tattoo on the top of her foot that she showed Vilde. Vilde missed her own cat in Oslo and just had to show a photo of her to Sofia.

 

When they were about to part Vilde told Sofia " **I hope that either you will become my new best friend or something… special** ”. Sofia smiled at her enthusiasm and answered “ **We’ll see. I do want to see you again. Very much. So there is no rush** ”. Vilde got butterflies in her stomach. She already had a best friend so obviously she was hoping for something else. She felt the need to do something more so she kissed her goodnight before they went their separate ways. The coming days Sofia was the only thing on her mind.

 

Just few days later Sofia joined Vilde, Chris and a bunch of new friends they had gotten to know at a pub after work.  At one point during the evening one of the guys had looked at them pusseled and asked, “ **Wait now, are you two together?** ”. Sofia didn’t know what to answer but Vilde did not hesitate and answered proudly “ **Yes, we are together** ”. Sofia seemed surprised but smiled back at her. Later she asked her “ **Why did you say that we are together. We just met and we haven't really discussed that. Don’t you think you should have checked with me first?** ”.

Vilde tilted her head and asked “ **Is there anybody else? Someone that you have feelings for and want to be together with instead?** ”. Sofia responded “ **No!** ”. “ **Then do you want to be together with me?** ” she then asked. Sofia laughed at her straight forwardness and answered “ **Well, yes** ”. That made Vilde happy and she stated confident “ **Good, then you are my girlfriend now** ” and put her arms around her.

 

The first time Vilde visited Sofias apartment was was for a movie night and to meet her cat. It was a small studio with a bed that also served as a sofa with huge cozy pillows along the wall. The kitchen was to small for a table, so Sofia had a small kitchen table in the room. The best part was a balcony, if you opened all four glas doors it seemed like a continuation of the room. They cooked pasta with pesto together and had bought a few different cheeses, some crackers and cactus fruit and nisperos just because Vilde had never tried it before.

 

They started making out on the sofa/bed halfway through the movie. Vilde got happy and excited when Sofia unbuttoned her jeans and she saw the elastic lace waistband on her otherwise quite ordinary panties. “ **Now this detail, is just so sweet. And sexy. Seriously, mens underwear? They can’t compete** ” she said shaking her head. Sofia was amused by her enthusiasm for her simple underwear and had to ask “ **You have never been with a woman before, have you?** ”. “ **No** ” Vilde answered, shivered and added “ **I am so nervous** ”. “ **Don’t be, we’ll just take it slow and get to know each other. There is no rush** ” Sofia told her. “ **But what if you don’t think I am good and you won't come with me?** ” Vilde asked worried. “ **I already think you are good. Forget about that for now. I am with you because I want to be with you, not just for an orgasm.** ” Sofia answered her calming. It made Vilde relax a little, but she felt the need to drink some more wine, just not too much, she wanted to be fully present and remember everything from that night. Sofias hands were soft but steady and she smelled so good. Women are just so much softer, cuddler and smoother than men, Vilde thought. It was different, not as predictable as it had been with the men she had been with. It made her both more insecure and more curious. Her initially fumbling and insecurity was compensated by her desire to learn. Sofia was patient with her and all her inquisitive questions. There was nothing better than a curious lover and Vilde wanted to know everything.

 

Afterwards Sofia was a real gentlewoman and went out to the mini-market across the street in the middle of the night just to get Vilde a toothbrush. She gave her a set of keys to her apartment and let her borrow any clothes she wanted. Vilde ended up staying with her for three whole days, before even returning home.

 

This particular night Vilde was distracted by a message from Chris. She had been worried about Chris obsessing about the pregnancy, mostly whether or not she should tell Mutta about it. At first she had been joking about it, coming up with funny way to break the news. “ **Ok, so there is no easy way to say it. Do you think he would prefer if I just sent him short message with all the facts or should I make it a bit more easy going, just sing it out like in a musical? Or maybe send a fruit basket and mark on the fruits the corresponding week, you know the size of the fetus** ”. They had been looking at a chart that illustrated the size of the fetus per week by using seeds, berries and fruits. In the beginning it had been funny, Vilde even came with some ideas herself. 

 

But Chris felt guilty and dishonest for joking and talking to him mostly about other things when this was the one major situation in her life right now. Vilde had tried to be a good friend and listen and come with suggestions or advice, but it had just gotten stuck in circles. Chris was her one best friend in the whole wide world because no matter how bad her own day had been Chris always found a way to make it better. She just wished that she in return could find a way to make Chris feel better now.

“ **You don’t really want to tell him, do you?** ” she asked one night. Chris stared out into the night. “ **What is it they say, ignorance is bliss? Is it really?** ” she asked. Vilde had no idea what was best to advice “ **Sometimes it is maybe. I guess it depends on what you want with him. If he is just fun for now, why make it complicated? But if he is the love of your life, you should share stuff, like this** ” Vilde answered. 

  
Sofia threw a pillow at her. “ **Hey, phone-girl are you here or on instagram now?** ” she teased her. Vilde threw it back, a little insulted. “ **I was not on insta! I just answered Chris, she wanted to know if we would join them going out tonight** ” Vilde explained. Sofia raised her eyebrows “ **Oh, so what did you answer?** ” she asked. “ **Just that we planned to stay home tonight** ” Vilde explained. “ **Making decisions for us now, are you? Maybe I wanted to go out?** ” Sofia teased her. Vilde got worried, was she being to bossy and assuming things again “ **Do you? I can write her back that we changed our minds** ”. “ **No, no, I am just kidding with you** ” Sofia answered and crawled over to her, took her phone away and kissed her.


	16. Chat: You left something here

### (Wednesday 15 August, 2018)

Chris: **Hey puppy, I think I should tell you something**

Mutta: **What?**

Chris: **Skype?**

Mutta: **Not a good time now, but what is it?**

Chris: **You left something here**

Mutta: **Ok, what?**

Chris: **Your sperm. I found it... in my egg**

Mutta: **Wait, what?**

**Are you joking?**

Chris: **no joke**

Mutta: **Ok, Skype in 5 min**


	17. POV Mutta : Like a robot

###  (Wednesday 15 August, 2018) 

Mutta had been hanging out with some colleagues in the staffs room, having an early dinner before he would start his shift in the restaurant. The messages from Chris made him cold. Was this some crazy joke? How was that even possible? They had used condoms ever since Chris went off the pill. He had about half an hour before his shift would start and this was really not a good time to talk. But he rushed to his room, hoping that his roomie would be out. As soon as he saw her face on Skype he got scared, she looked different, frightened.

 

“ **Surprise, I have a mini you growing inside me… this very moment** ” she said and tried to joke about it. “ **Eeh, what? Are you sure?** ” he asked. “ **I have taken five pregnancy tests, so, yeah, I am sure. They don’t show false positives** ” she answered. “ **But how?** ” he wanted to know. Chris started explaining “ **Well, I should not be the one to tell you this but... when a man and woman likes each other as much as we do, and the man puts his penis…** ” but he interrupted her apparently irritated. “ **I know how but, how, how? We used protection. And when?** ” he wanted to know. “ **According to my pregnancy app the date of conception was 2nd of July. We made love both June 30th and 1st of July so…** ”. “ **You have an app for this?** ” he asked confused. He tried to remember those days on Gran Canaria, the details. He had left in the morning, gone home to Oslo on the 2nd of July. “ **Are you sure it is mine?** ” the question just escaped his lips and when he saw her reaction he tried to take it back. “ **Fuck, sorry, that came out wrong** ” he added. She was still silent. “ **Sorry Chris, I am just trying to understand. I’ll just say stupid things now and my shift starts now to, so I have to go** ” he explained and they said their goodbyes. 

 

He felt that he needed to calm down and focus on getting ready for work. He wrote a message to try to fix it “ **Sorry! I really messed up. Should I say congratulation or apologies? I should probably just shut up** ”. She answered almost immediately “ **It’s ok puppy. It took me a week to get used to the idea and I am still a mess** ”. What, she waited a week to tell him?! Why would she wait? He pushed all thoughts on Chris away and went to work. 

 

After his shift he went outside on the deck to get some fresh air and stare at the sea. He could see a new message from Chris but ignored it. Mikael came and joined him and asked “ **Hey, what's up? You been focused like a robot all night** ”. Mutta didn’t answer first, then just short “ **It’s, nothing** ”. Mikael started talking about something but he didn’t listen and couldn’t follow what he was saying and laughed at the wrong place. It got awkward so Mikael stopped talking and said “ **Ok, I’ll go back down now** ”. But he still stayed a little longer. Mutta tried to say something but felt like his voice was failing him and tried again. “ **Chris says that she is pregnant** ” he finally uttered. “ **Were her boobs bigger?** ” Mikael asked. Mutta had noticed that the last visit in Las Palmas but didn’t think much about it then, just thought she had gained weight or something. “ **Well, yeah. And she vomited once to** ” he answered and realized that there had been some signs that something was off. She had been more distant in general, but they were always with other people and when they were alone she had mostly been tired. She worked a lot those days too, he thought that was why. “ **Congratulation. You’re gonna be a father. Or not** .” Mikael said and gave him an awkward hug. Mutta felt sick to his stomach. This could not be happening to him.


	18. POV Noora : Student life

### (Thursday 16 August, 2018)

Noora and Jonas had just had their first lesson of political science. They were meeting up with Sana and Isak at a typical student hang out. Eva joined them to since she did not have anything in particular to do these days. The place was known for its cheap grilled sandwiches and free refill of coffee. Isak was very relieved that he had gotten the final place at Oslo Medical School, even though he had been number three on the substitute list. The two infront of him had already started to study on other Universities. Even was very happy to, he told them. “ **We had a huge fight about not moving to Copenhagen a few days ago, Even thought I was sacrificing my future career because of him. It worked out now anyway, I got in. But to be honest a gap-semester or a gap-year right now would not had been that bad** ”.

 

Noora agreed “ **I know, I sometimes wonder why I applied straight to University. I could have gone backpacking in South America or done some volunteer project instead** ”. Jonas got enthusiastic about it “ **Why not combine it and do a volunteer project in South America. That would be awesome** “. Eva tried to enter the conversation “ **Maybe that’s what I should do, go and work as a volunteer project with kids in South America** ”. Jonas was not as enthusiastic about her idea and almost seemed disinterested.

He turned to Noora and asked “ **Any particular country you had in mind? It’s quite big, you know** ”. Noora was pretty open to where and answered “ **Well, for me it would be easiest with a spanish speaking country.** ”  Jonas laughed a bit “ **Well that doesn’t narrow it down much**.” Noora continued “ **Yeah, I know, I know. Seriously, I’ve always wanted to go to Colombia or maybe Chile** ”. “ **Have you been watching too much Narcos?** ” Isak asked. “ **Haven’t seen it. Should I?** ” Noora asked. Jonas and Isak agreed “ **Yes** ”. “ **But it might not make you want to go to Colombia anymore** ” Isak warned her.

 

Isak’s phone rang. It was Even telling him about a water leak in the kitchen. So Isak called his father and had to leave them all. “ **Has none you thought about, you know, taking the big leap and move away from home any time soon? You don’t feel the need of having your own space** ” Noora asked the remaining group. Jonas got a bit defensive “ **Why? So that I’d have to run off and take care of water leaks?** ”. Noora shook her head at him “ **So you plan to live with your parents forever just to avoid water leaks?** ”.

 

Sana joined the discussion. “ **I really don’t see the point. I’ll move in with Yousef in two years when we get married. Why should everybody live alone in little tinhouses just to prove that they are independent. They are not anyway. Isak just called his dad about the water leak and Yousef still lets his mother take care of his laundry sometimes and he eats almost more at my place than in his apartment, especially the weeks when Mikael is on the ship** ”.

“ **Well you don’t have to live alone, you can do like me, share with other people. I just wonder how good it is to move straight from your parents to you husband. I think most people need to live alone to find themselves and grow up. Maybe not you Sana, you seem born all strong and independent.** ” Noora continued.

 

“ **I feel like I have already been living on my own for years, with my mum away so much. So if I would move it would rather be to get more company, not more solitude and my own space** ” Eva argued. Jonas thought about the costs “ **I am not against moving away from home. If I find a good place and someone interesting to live with, why not? But I am not desperate to move. There is also the cost to consider, if it is worth it** ”. Noora shook her head “ **You will not find a place if you are not actively looking for it. And the cost, well you will need to pay rent off course** ”. She found it a bit odd that Eva and Jonas did not seem to be talking about moving in together. That would be the natural step for them, but she knew that things had not been the best between them lately. Thinking about it she had never heard Eva talk about moving together with Jonas, lately she talked more having children or working with children.

 

Yousef came and joined them. He gave Sana a quick kiss on the forehead and said hi to everyone. “ **So, what is going on?** ” he asked. “ **Oh, not much. We survived our first class and now Noora is interrogating us about why we still live at home with our parents** ” Sana answered. Yousef would agree with her, he wanted to move away from home for a long time, it just took him some time to get an apartment. “ **Yousef, don’t you agree with me. It’s a passage to adulthood to move away. Are you not worried that Sana will be a bit spoiled moving straight from her parents to you? You will end up responsible for all the household chores and bills to pay** ” she asked him. Yousef just laughed at it. “ **I don’t mind spoiling her a bit** ” he answered. “ **I don’t think you can divide things fair anyway, like argue that I did the dishes yesterday or changed the last diaper so now it’s your turn. Or I payed for this so now you need to pay. We do different things for each other. And how can you measure a warm smile or supporting words at the right moment?** ” he argued. Sana didn’t say anything but could not hide how happy she was with his answer. The two of the were just too perfect sometimes.

 

Noora noticed that William had just entered and like always he caught her eye. He stopped and talked with some people he knew, she did not recognise them but figured that they were his classmates. They looked like typical law students, preppy and fresh. The two girls in the group were obviously flirting with him. He must had told them some good news because they started to congratulate and hug him. Noora felt like she had not seen him this happy for a very long time. He noticed her and excused himself to go over to her table.

“ **What was that all about?** ” she asked. “ **I just got the call. The apartment is mine. I’ll go there to sign the papers tomorrow** ”. he explained exited. Noora and her friends congratulated him but they were nowhere near as enthusiastic and happy for him as the preppy law students had been. There was no free chair for William so Yousef gave him his and went to nearby tables to ask if he could take one of their seemingly empty chairs. William asked if anybody wanted anything more when he was about to go and get coffee and something to eat, but they were all set.

 

If felt strange. Noora had more fun talking to Jonas about going to South America and William got more enthusiasm from his classmates when he talked about the apartment that he loved, than them sharing their dreams and ideas with each other. Were they drifting apart or had they just been too different from the start?

 

Eva had started to talk with Yousef about working with children, at a kindergarten and in general. “ **I’d like to try it. I think it could suit me. Either small children or maybe at a youth center with older kids** ”. Yousef nodded “ **I actually think the skills are very similar. I have worked both with kindergarteners and older kids like assisting soccer coach and at summer camps. You need to be interested, let them know you are there but at the same time not do too much for them. Let them discover things on their own and feel that they are learning things and growing** ”. Eva got enthusiastic “ **You see, just by talking to you about it makes me more interested** ”.

 

Yousef was such a sweet guy, Noora thought. She was really happy for him and Sana. She caught herself thinking that maybe in another life she would had gotten together with Yousef instead or gone to South America with Jonas. She could not imaging backpacking with William. He would probably had insisted on staying at a five star hotel instead of at some worn down hostel.

 

Yousef and Sana were the first to leave. Eva and Jonas didn’t seem to be much in a hurry but Noora wanted to get home and took the initiative to break up the party. She wanted to do some reading and go to bed early.

 

William broke the silence after they had been walking silently at first. “ **I’ll get the keys when I sign the contract tomorrow, so I plan to move there soon** ”. Noora got surprised, it sounded so final and soon. “ **That was fast. But you don’t even have any furniture** ” she remarked. “ **I’ll probably buy most of the furniture they showcased there to sell the apartment** ” he explained. “ **You’ve got it all figured out then** ” she answered sadly. “ **Do you want to come with me and help me choose which furnitures to keep?** ” he asked. She sighed and shook her head “ **I don’t know, I don’t even think we have the same taste** ”.

 

William got irritated “ **That’s why I asked. Don’t be like this Noora. It was inevitable, I could not be living at that apartment with you, and Eskild and Linn forever**.” Noora knew that he was right, everybody kept telling her that he had stayed longer than expected. “ **This is not us breaking up. I just need my own place. And I like nice things, you knew that** ” he continued. “ **It just feels like a step backwards, us moving apart** ” she answered.

 

“ **So what would a step forward be? You can still move with me, that would be a step forward. And in five years or so we could turned the extra room into a baby room** ”. William suggested. Noora glared at him “ **Don’t even joke about that. I just found out that a friend of mine is pregnant** ”.

“ **What friend?** ” William wondered. Noora “ **I should probably not talk about it** . **Anyway, I don’t want to have kids. Not in five year or ever** ” she added. He got cold and silent. She hated when he was like that, unreachable. So she touched his face and made him look at her before she kissed him. “ **Let’s not talk more about this tonight. Let’s just go home and relax and go to bed together and talk some other time** ”. He nodded and they continued home.

  


### (Friday 16 August, 2018)

Noora did not have any classes or real plans for the day more than to start reading her textbook on democracy. They had breakfast together listening to the news and not talking much. William had a class from ten to noon and was doing straight to real estate agency after that. He asked but she didn’t want to join him.

“ **I realizes it is hard for you to see that** **I am not doing it to hurt you or manipulate you into moving with me.** **I swears, it’s not why. I need my own place.** ” William explained. She nodded in response but thought that no matter what his motive was, that would be the consequences. Either she would end up moving there or they would eventually drift apart and break up. William was still looking at her, trying to read her face. It made her a bit uncomfortable. She avoided to meet his eyes. “ **Look, if by New Year it still feels wrong, I’ll consider selling it and get something smaller and cheaper… something more bohemic** ” he finally answered. That was a peace offer. She would only have to hold her ground until New Year, she thought. “ **Well, Eva will be happy, then at least we can have a big new years party there** .” she said and he smiled. “ **We could have many great parties there!** ”. It felt a little bit better now. “ **So will you go with me when I meet the interior designer later to select which furniture to keep?** ” he asked again. She nodded “ **Ok** ”. Like Sana had said, they needed to try to find a compromise. Now he was trying so she too needed to meet him halfway. They kissed goodbye in the kitchen.

Noora went to her room and tidied it up a bit so she could focus on reading. She noticed another group message from Chris who was still worried because Mutta had been distant and very short with her since she had told him about the pregnancy. It made Noora angry, he can’t just be there to make her pregnant and then not be supportive, not have the decency to even formulate a real chat message in response. Guys got away too easy with everything. “ **Mutta has to answer!** ” she wrote back. “ **He answers, sometimes, he is just so cold. Earlier, before everything, he said he would come here on Monday, that he already bought the ticket. Now I am not so sure he wants to come** ” Chris continued. Sana answered “ **He’ll come! I’ll put him on the flight myself if I have to. He cannot do this to you now!** ”. Noora sighted. She could not understand why Chris was still pregnant and why she wanted to involve Mutta in the first place. He was obviously not up for the challenge.


	19. Group chat : I’ve messed up

###  (Friday 17 August, 2018)

Elias:  **Mutta are you coming home to Oslo or straight of to Granka this time?**

Mutta:  **straight to Granka on Monday, need to be with my woman**

Adam:  **ahh, you’ve got it bad**

Mikael:  **It’s so much worse than you think**

Elias:  **??? what’s going on now?**

**Mutta?**

**or do I need to ask Mikael?**

Mutta: **I’ve messed up**

**she’s pregnant**

Adam:  **wtf! I so don’t want to be you now**

Even:  **for what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great dad!**

**Is she keeping it?**

Mutta:  **don’t know**

**it feels wrong to call it “it” though**

Adam:  **don’t even go there, don’t ever ever use the b-word, don’t google pictures**

Mutta:  **I am not. “it” just makes me think of that creepy clown**

**but I want to be a good boyfriend, be there for her, idk, help her decide**

Mikael:  **No, no, no, you have no say in this. It’s her body**

Even:  **it would be a bit crazy to keep it, but sweet. What week?**

Mutta:  **week 8 she said, size of a raspberry**

Yousef:  **until week 9 it is called an embryo, and then fetus**

**about 20% of all pregnancies ends in miscarriage before week 12 anyway**

**legally/medically it’s not considered a person until week 22 I think, lost after week 22 you need a funeral**

Elias:  **what?! why and how do you know this Yousef? It’s creepy**

Yousef:  **I work with women and I have a sister**

**they tell me stuff**

**and I googled it now**

Elias: **my sister does not talk to me about these things**

Yousef:  **your sister has never been pregnant**

Adam:  **are you sure?**

Yousef:  **fuck you Adam!**

Elias:  **Mutta, I think it is good that you go down there to be with her**

**and we are here for you**

Mutta:  **not much I can do anyway, or you, but thanks anyway**


	20. POV Elias : Bad mood

### (Sunday 19 August, 2018)

Elias was picking Mutta up by the ferry like he asked him. He was just driving him home to his parent tonight and tomorrow he’d be off to Gran Canaria again. They talked about trivial things, Mutta thanked him more than once for giving him a ride. _No woman no cry_ was playing on the radio and it couldn’t be more suitable. When they had almost arrived at Muttas place Elias asked him “ **So, are we going to talk about it or were you just to lazy to take the bus home this time?** ”. Mutta looked out of the window. “ **I don’t know what to say. I feel so stupid and guilty. She said that she doesn’t hate me for it, but I don’t know**.” Mutta said. “ **How the fuck could it happen in the first place? You used protection, right?** ” Elias asked. “ **Yeah, we had condoms. Just maybe not always right in the beginning. She was on the pill before and then not, because it made her feel bad. It doesn’t matter now anyway** ” Mutta explained.

 

They had arrived their destination but stayed in the car a bit longer. “ **And it doesn’t matter if she says that she doesn’t hate me. I messed up. She is still the one pregnant with nausea and the one who will have to deal with it. I am just here on the outside, practically useless** “ he continued. Elias protested “ **You are going down there now, aren’t you? You are trying to be there, showing that you care. That is all you can do now, anyway** ”.

 

Mutta looked down ashamed and said “ **Yeah, but I’ve been an ashole. She wanted to talk the other day and I couldn’t deal with it so I just wrote that I rather talk face to face when I get there. I have basically been avoiding her for five days now** ”. Elias didn’t say anything, there was no point beating on someone who was already down. “ **She was joking about it and I just freaked out. I wished and almost believed that it was a joke for real. But I knew that it wasn’t, by the way she said it, her voice. And her face. And it would be a crazy thing to joke about this long anyway** ” Mutta continued.

 

“ **Mutta, don’t beat yourself up too much now. Just send her a sweet message tonight, get on that flight tomorrow and show that you support her no matter what. Everything is going to be ok. Just chill** ” Elias told him encouraging.

“ **What if she decides to keep it?** ” Mutta asked. “ **Then you’ll deal with it and be a good guy and do the right thing. Come on, you are almost 21, you already have a job. We will be there and your family will help** ” Elias explained. “ **Do you really think I could be a dad?** ” Mutta asked doubtfully. “ **If you have to yeah. I’d be more worried if it was Adam or Mikael who messed up. Now get out of here, you’ll be ok, everything will be ok** ”. Elias reassured him. Mutta seemed a little encouraged and said goodbye and thanked for the ride home a third time.

 

Elias watched while Mutta walk up to the apartment building and disappeared through the entrance door before he drove away. He was so angry and disappointed in Mutta right now. Everybody knows that you need to use the condom during the whole act, no contact without protection. And why the hell had Mutta been avoiding Chris for five days. How could he be a father when he can’t even deal with finding out that he made his girlfriend pregnant. You face problems, you don’t try to run away from them. Man up for crying out loud! Take some goddamn responsibility.

If Chris decides to have the baby it will be raised by her with the help from Muttas mother. While Mutta would work on the ship and stay away as much as possible until it’s old enough to play soccer, maybe then Mutta will take an interest and be this guy that plays soccer with his child. It’s always like that, the guys mess up and the women has to fix things, deal with their mess. Elias was sick and tired of it, he had seen it before and it was pathetic.

Well at least Mutta was trying, he was going to Las Palmas now and he seemed aware of his mistakes. Elias felt like crap and went to bed early that night.

 

### (Monday 20 August, 2018)

The next day he was going to Sara’s place after classes around lunch. They had not seen eachother much lately. Both had been busy with classes starting the week before and Sara had been working night shifts all weekend as well. He had just been to her place once before, really quick to pick her up before they were going out.

 

When she opened the door she welcomed him and hugged him like she had missed him tremendously. She looked beautiful and smelled really good. Her hair was still wet and she explained that she finished work late last night and had just woken up and had a shower. “ **You should had waited for me with the shower. You knew I was coming over** ” Elias tried to joke, but he was still in a lousy mood since the day before. She ignored his comment but gave him one of those looks that normally would drive him crazy and just asked if he wanted som egg and toast.

 

He walked around and looked at some pictures on the wall, black and white photographs from Egypt he supposed and a landscape he could not place. “ **Oh, it’s from a trip to Iceland** ” she explained. Almost no people on any of the photos. He liked her home. It was a small studio with room for just a big bed, a small sofa and a table with two chairs by the window. Not much free floor space. He looked at her bookshelf but didn’t recognise any of the titles apart from the Hunger Games and Lord of the Rings trilogies. He had seen the movies.

 

“ **Look, a twin-egg** ” she exclaimed and showed him the egg with two yellow yolks in the middle. It made him a little nauseous but he nodded and tried to smile at it.

 

He watched her small round breast bounce under her top when she set the table and they reminded him of the time when he had seen a mother breastfeed at a café. The baby had been crying like crazy and the mother had taken it to her breast like it was the most urgent thing in the world, like nothing else mattered. It only took a second and he had tried not to stare but before he had the chance to look away it was all over, covered by the baby attached to her, sucking like it’s life was depending on it. He remember thinking surprised that this that was the real purpose for breasts. They were not there for him.

 

He didn’t have much of an appetite and left the egg and toast only half eaten. She looked at him worried and asked what was wrong. He just shook his head and mumbled “ **Nothing** ”. “ **But I can see that something is wrong** ” she confronted him. He felt the need to say something, otherwise she would just think it had to do with her, and that could get messy. Girls were often like that, thinking it was all about them, he thought annoyed.

“ **It’s nothing. It’s just a friend of mine messed up and got his girlfriend pregnant** ” he explained. “ **Aah, and she is keeping it?** ” Sara asked. “ **I don’t know. Either way it’s messed up.** ” he answered. “ **It doesn’t have to be such a big deal if you take care of it early** ” Sara said calmly. Elias got irritated. “ **He was careless and gets her pregnant and now she has to deal with it, either having a baby or an abortion. You don’t find that messed up?** ” he asked provoked by her easy attitude to the whole situation.

 

“ **All I am saying is that an early abortion is not necessary that dramatic. It’s still really, really small. They just give you a pill to start the process. Two days later you get another set of pills for contractions and a few painkillers. It’s all over in a few hours and you get to go home later the same day. Some people even take the second set of pills at home. And you might have some pain and bleedings for a few days after, but nothing we are not already used to** ” Sara explained. Elias felt sick hearing about blood and said “ **I really don’t want to think about it, blood and all** ”. Sara though he was being silly. “ **We, half of the population, bleed once a month anyway. You know that right? And many of us have terrible cramps and back pains too** ”. He interrupted her “ **Sara, just stop. I know that. What are we even talking about now? Ok, I believe you, so it’s a simple procedure. I just think it’s unnecessary, if you can avoid it. And you make it sound like nothing** ”. He was looking at her long and she seemed so cold and restrained. “ **How do you know all of this anyway?** ” he asked, and it stroke him that he really did not know her very well. “ **I went with a friend a few years ago when she needed an abortion**.” she answered defensive.

 

“ **Let’s just talk about something else. Do something else** ” he plead to her and went to sit down on her bed. “ **But you seem so tense. I don’t get why you are so upset about this** “. She stopped and looked at him long. “ **Unless it’s not really your friend, but you, who messed up, and you are feeling guilty about it** ” she speculated. He gave her an offended look. “ **No, it’s not me, that would be impossible** ” he explained. She walked over to him and he leaned his forehead on her bosom. “ **It just sucks to see him all freaked out about it and knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. Just listen and say these bullshit frases like that everything will be ok** ”. Elias complained while she caressed his head. “ **Sometimes that is the best and the hardest thing to do. To listen and just be a friend** ” she suggested.

 

He exhaled and held her closer. She was so soft and warm and nice to him. Why was she being so nice to him? He was no fun now, coming here in a bad mood and being all negative. He looked up at her face and she kissed him sweetly. He closed his eyes and let himself fall down on the bed, hoping she would join him. She did and he embraced her and could not decide if he just wanted to lay there holding her or make love to her. He felt like he lacked the energy to initiate anything anyway and got distracted by two messages on his phone and felt the need to check it. The first one was from Mutta who had landed in Las Palmas now and was thanking him for the talk yesterday. It made Elias feel a little better.

 

The other message was from his mother who reminded him about dinner, that it would be the last one with Simo and Jamilla before they went back to Copenhagen after their summer visit. He turned to Sara and asked “ **Do you want to have dinner with my family tonight? My brother and his wife is home. Sana and Yousef will be there too for sure. And you already met my dad** ”. Sara seemed surprised “ **Ok. What about the Bakkoush system?** ” she asked. “ **Fuck the system, I am not my brother or sister** ” he answered rebelliously. She smiled at him and kissed him long. “ **Ok, then I want to go with you and meet your family tonight** ” she answered.

  
He felt like he was slowly waking up from his dim of self-pity and that now he wanted her with new energy. He let his fingers follow the waistband of her soft yoga pants to let her know what he wanted. She took them of and revealed a pair of purple striped panties with a small satin bow in the front. He smiled and touched the satin bow “ **Just like a present** ” was his comment. She kissed him again and pulled him closer. “ **Can I have you now?** ” he asked teasingly. She nodded and he left the bed. “ **Hey! Where are you going?** ” she protested. “ **Safety first** ” he answered and came back with a pack of condom. He pull his T-shirt over his head and kicked his pants off walking back, while she waited impatiently in bed. When he was back in her arms she said “ **It is really not necessary. I have it covered** ”. He seemed suspicious and asked “ **Oh yeah? You fixed that for me? Since when?** ”. “ **Since several years back** ” she answered calmly. “ **And you tell me this first now?** ” he bursted out. She laughed at him “ **How could I know who you've slept with before or that you were not still sleeping with other people** ” she explained. “ **You could have just asked me. No, off course I’m not. I would never. Are you?** ” he asked offended. “ **Calm down. No, I am not** “ she said caressing his neck and shoulders. “ **I can’t believe you thought I was sleeping around. Why would you even be with me if you thought I was some player?** ” he continued complaining. “ **Hush, come here now. Just chill** ” she said soothing. He felt vulnerable and at her mercy. She had him wrapped around her finger now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sana and Elias older brother is never mentioned by name in SKAM, only that he is engaged with Jamilla in season 2. So I call him Simo and made up that they got married and moved to study in Copenhagen.


	21. POV Sana : No need for a funeral

### (Wednesday 22 August, 2018)

Sana was home in the kitchen with her mother, trying to study but thinking about Chris in Las Palmas. Yousef was coming over later. Her mother seemed worried or agitated and Sana was wondering why. Perhaps because her brother Simo had just returned to Copenhagen, her mother would often get a bit emotional right before and after he left.

 

“ **Is everything ok?** ” she asked. “ **Yes, yes, everything is ok. But you never stop caring or worrying about your children. No matter how old they get, you are still my little babies** ” her mother explained. Sana thought about it, it didn’t really make sense, she should be relieved that her children grew up and got independent, but what did she know, she was no mother.

“ **Do you ever think about having another baby?** ” she asked. “ **Now? No, we are done with that. The next babies in this family will be grandchildren**.” her mother answered smiling but was fast with adding “ **But there is no rush with that** ”. Sana was in no rush at all, she and Yousef were not even married yet. Chances was much bigger that Simon and Jamilla would decide to have a baby, Jamilla only had one year left to study and then she would be a nurse.

“ **But if you knew of a young girl that was pregnant and didn’t want to keep the baby, would you consider having another baby?** ” she asked. Her mother stopped with what she was doing and looked at her. “ **Why are you asking this? Do you know know somebody who needs a home to her baby?** ” she asked Sana. “ **Maybe** ” Sana answered. “ **Is she very young?** ” her mother wanted to know. “ **She is about my age, it was very unexpected** ” Sana answered. Her mother sat down opposite her and started explaining “ **I am not sure it is that easy to just find adoptive parents. There are laws that regulates it and when you carry a child inside you for nine months it often becomes very difficult to just give it away**.” Sana nodded, she knew it had been a naive idea to start with, she just wished she could do something to help Chris. The more natural solution would off course be if they got help from Chris or Mutta’s parents instead. “ **But what if it would had been mine or Elias baby? Just hypothetically** ” she asked. Her mother looked at her long. “ **I would expect that you would take responsibility yourself, but off course I would help you out** ” her mother answered.

 

They could hear Elias arriving in the hallway and her mother went there to meet him. “ **Elias, where have you been all night? You made me worried when you did not come home** ” she started. “ **I answered your message early this morning. I told you I would go straight to classes** ” he answered. “ **But you still have not told me where you have been** ” their mother continued. Elias exhaled annoyed “ **Mom, you know where I have been. You knew I was meeting Sara. I have slept at her place** ” he answered.

 

Sana could hear most of the conversation from the kitchen. Their mother was implying that he was being disrespectful sleeping over at his girlfriend and wanted to know how serious he was about her and what their plans were. Elias defended himself saying that he was not being disrespectful, that she did not understand and that it was too soon to say how serious things were with Sara. “ **Then it is too soon for you to spend the night there to. As long as you live at home...** ” she started but was interrupted by Elias who said definitely “ **Then maybe it is about time I move** ”. They both got quiet.

 

Sana walked quietly to the zink to refill her glass of water, but mostly to try to hear if they were saying anything more. She thought about it and didn’t get it. Elias was different with Sara, Yousef had noticed it too. He brought her home for a family dinner the other night and now he was spending the night with her and didn’t even care to try to hide it. Was he was being disrespectful? Yes, maybe, but to who? To Sara, himself or just their parents?

 

“ **Mom, I am 21 years old. Many of my friends has already moved away from home, I have no plans on studying in another city and I don’t want to live here until I get married anyway**.” he continued calmly. It was quiet again and then Elias went to his room and closed the door and their mother went back to what she was doing in the kitchen.

 

Sana sent a message to Elias asking if he was up for some basketball. She thought she might go down and shoot some hoops until Yousef came anyway. It didn’t take long until Elias joined her. “ **So, you are sleeping at Sara’s now?** ” she asked. “ **You heard everything?** ” he asked. “ **Most of it** ” she answered. They sat down on the swings and looked at the ground. “ **Mom is ok, she cares about us. She was just born in another country and another time. And she is just afraid you’ll make Sara pregnant or something. It’s a reasonable fear, no contraceptive is 100%** ” Sana stated.

 

Elias stopped and looked at her long. “ **You already knew, didn’t you?** ” he asked. Sana didn’t follow, knew what? “ **About Chris** ” he added. Sana nodded “ **Yes, she told me the last night on Granka** ” Sana answered. “ **Aah! Mutta only found out a few days ago** ” he said surprised. “ **Well, Mutta is an idiot** ” Sana said harsh. “ **Come on, he panicked. He is down there with her now.** ” Elias said defending his friend. Sana still didn’t seem convinced.

 

Yousef arrived and joined them. “ **What happened here? Did somebody die?** ” he asked and looked from Sana’s face to Elias and then back again. “ **Elias is moving away from home** ” Sana answered “ **And yeah, you already know Chris is pregnant** ” Elias added.

“ **Have you heard anything new, Sana?** ” Yousef asked. She shook her head. “ **I heard that an early abortion is not that dramatic, just a few pills** ” Elias said. “ **Well soon it will not be considered an early pregnancy anymore** ” Sana said acid.

 

“ **If you miscarriage before the 22nd week there is no need for a funeral. But after that the woman still has to give birth, to a dead child, and arrange a funeral. It’s sick, they even have little coffins** ”. Sana shivered, it sounded so morbid. Elias got emotional and asked “ **God! Seriously Yousef, how do know these things?** ”. Yousef explained “ **My sister had a miscarriage a few years ago, it was in the 10th week I think. And about the same time a colleague told me about a friend who had lost their baby in the 25th week. The story just got stuck in my head, it seemed so cruel to make her give birth to a dead child. But then my colleague explained that it’s because it often makes it easier for the mother to get closure. Some go crazy and believe that they are still pregnant or that somebody has stolen their baby. It’s because of all the hormones, the body is still set on having a baby so it plays tricks with the mind** ”.

 

Sana was fascinated by what he had told them, it was cruel and morbid but still interesting that the human body worked that way. “ **Can’t they just get other hormones or something to neutralise or balance the pregnancy hormones** ” she said out loud and realised how crazy that sounded. “ **No, off course not, it’s too risky. People react so individually to hormones, it would be to experimental** ” she added. Elias and Yousef were both staring at her. " **What? I am studying medicin!** " she explained.

 

“ **Anyway Sana, don’t worry about me. I would have gotten my shit together and move away from home soon anyway. Mom knows that to** ” Elias said and stood up to go back inside. “ **I am more worried about mom. I’ll leave to in only two years** ” she added. “ **Well none of you can live at home forever. She’ll get used to it. As will my mom to soon I hope** ” Yousef added.

 

Yousef took Elias place on the swing. He looked at Sana long like he was wondering what was going on in her head. “ **Chris asked me, what I would had done if it had been me, if it had been us** ” she started. “ **Ok, what did you tell her?** ” he was curious to know. “ **Well, I would have thought that it was fate, that it had a purpose, not just an accident. So I would had kept it off course, but I would probably hate you for it, for some years** ” she answered.

“ **What?!** ” Yousef exclaimed offended. “ **Why would you hate me? If you thought it was fate. I wouldn’t force you to keep it or intentionally make you pregnant. That is not fair** ”.

“ **It’s just hypothetical Yousef. Don’t get so upset. I would hate you because without you I wouldn’t get pregnant. I could finish medical school like I planned, that’s all. But it won't happen, I am not getting pregnant** ” she explained.

“ **You can’t know that for sure. When we get married. No contraceptives are 100%. So maybe we would be among the 0,3% or whatever that still got pregnant**.” he continued. Sana rolled her eyes at him. “ **No, don’t do that Sana. It is a possibility and if it happens and you think it is fate, that it was meant to be, then hate the One who decided that, not me** ” he continued.

 

“ **But if it wasn’t for you, I would probably stick to my original plan and get married after I finished medical school** ” she explained. “ **So I risk ruining your perfect plan now? Fine we can wait until you are finished and get married after. Is that what you really want?** ” he continued. “ **You are overreacting now Yousef** ” she told him. “ **Am I now? Seriously, if you would not be happy and look forward to have our baby, and just see it as an inconvenience, then... you don’t deserve it** ” he continued. Sana protested “ **I would not blame or hate the baby!** ”. “ **No, you’d just hate me** ” he said, still offended.

 

She could not understand why this even became an argument. It would never ever happen! Yousef was just being too sensitive now. Besides, you feel what you feel, and she would feel a bit bitter if her studies got interrupted. But that was maybe the burning issue here. Yousef was probably already thinking that he was the one making all the compromises; no sex, not too many children and definitely not anytime soon. If he would get it his way they would probably start producing offspring already next year. She was still only 18 and had 6 years of medical school in front of her.

She felt tired. Everybody seemed so tensed and worried these days. Her mother, Elias, Eva, Noora and now Yousef too. And probably Chris and Mutta in Las Palmas, they were at least dealing with a real problem, not just a hypothetical future risk.

  
“ **Yousef, let’s just leave this conversation, it is going nowhere** ” she suggested. “ **Just say you will not hate me if I’d get you pregnant by accident** ” he asked of her. She took his hand and entwined her fingers in his. She blushed thinking about him accidently making her pregnant. “ **It wouldn’t be an accident, but fate. So you are right, I should not hate you. But I’d be moody and annoyed and disappointed and stressed about my studies...** ” she started. “ **Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you’d be a lot of other things to that you can’t imagine right now** ” he added and kissed her. She didn’t want to wait for six years even if it might be the safest thing to do.


	22. POV Mutta : The good news is...

###  (Thursday 23 August, 2018) 

It was one of those lazy days when Chris didn’t have to go to work and they stayed in bed much too long. She was laughing and her hair was spread over the pillow like a storm. Mutta was just laying there trying to follow the conversation but being distracted by the light on her face and the sparkle in her brown eyes. He should just say it, even if it sounded cheesy. So he did “ **You are beautiful** ”. She got surprised and shy and started to protest “ **No, I am not! I am the fun girl, the one your friends are jealous of because they just know we are having more fun and better sex** ” she said. “ **You are that to** ” he agreed. “ **You don’t believe me. I should just take a picture of you right now and show you** ” he added and reached for his phone. Chris started doing funny faces and silly poses and he tried to instruct her just lay like she did before and relax. He got one good and many silly photos. He showed her the good one. “ **You see. Why would I say it if it wasn’t true?** ” he asked.

“ **Don’t get me wrong. I like me, but I am not a classic beauty, never have and never will be** ” she explained. “ **Who cares about classic beauties. You’re a rare beauty. Look at this picture!** ” he continued. Chris looked at the phone from him and he thought that for a moment maybe she would see what he saw. Chris started joking again “ **Wow! You are so right, I am fucking gorgeous, what am doing with you? I could get anybody** ”. Mutta took back his phone “ **Give me back that** ” and pretended to be offended. 

 

“ **When was the appointment again?** ” he asked. “ **At 14.30** ” Chris answered. He was going with her to the Women’s Health Center. “ **You know when you came here on Monday, I thought you just came to break up with me. That you felt guilty and that you thought that the only correct way was to do it face to face** ”, she said. It made him sad to think about it, how she must have felt even if it had not been true. “ **Why would I buy a ticket for ten days if I only came to break up with you?** ” he asked. “ **And why would I try to get a job here in Las Palmas?** ”. She shrugged “ **You booked the ticket and started the job hunt before I told you and I didn’t know how serious you were about that. After I told you, you just disappeared** ” she explained. Mutta felt ashamed about it. He had gone from sending several messages a day with hearts and emojis and all to barely answering at all. He had been so shocked that he needed time to get used to the idea and accept that it was for real. “ **I’m sorry about that Chris** ” he answered. “ **I eh, I thought that maybe you didn’t want me here, now that I screwed up and got you pregnant and all** ” he tried to explain. “ **We did that part together** ” she answered. He bit his lips and said “ **I brought the loaded gun. You kept us safe for more than half a year by eating pills that made you feel bad. I didn’t even manage to keep us safe two months** ”. “ **So we are extremely fertile together. Now we know. But I like that metaphor. Loaded gun! Any chance you have one now?** ” she asked curiously. She was crazy he thought, always turning a heavy topic into something fun. “ **No, sorry. I just don’t get turned on by talking about mistakes I have made** ”. “ **That’s too bad** ” she answered and smiled.

 

She had this way of always seeing the positive, the good side of everything. A few days ago when they talked about the pregnancy she had said “ **Well the good news is that now we know that your little swimmers work and we don’t need to think about protection. You can’t make me anymore pregnant than I already am** ”. He laughed at that, shook his head and said “ **You are crazy! Why would my swimmers not work? And, do you really want to have sex in your condition? Is it even... ok?** ”. “ **Sure it’s ok, if I say so! I was already pregnant the last time you were here, remember** ” she answered. He hadn’t thought about it “ **You already knew then, right?** ” he asked. She looked down guilty. “ **You knew, but you didn’t tell me** ” he stated and wondered why. “ **Yes. I was a bit in shock then. I told Vilde and Sana** ” she answered and added “ **I didn’t want to change things between us, to risk ruining things** ”.

 

...

 

It was strange to be at the Women’s Health Center. The sign also said Family Planning Center and Mutta knew that it was an abortion clinic and fertility clinic as well but did not see any such signs. The waiting room was full with mostly women, a few men and some very small children. Some were visually pregnant, some probably were there because they wanted to get pregnant and others because they wanted to end the pregnancy. People came and left and Mutta wondered what was behind the different doors in the corridor, he could not see any pattern.

 

When Chris name was called a nurse came to greet them and took them through one of the doors to a small meeting room with a table and a few chairs. The walls were white and had large framed landscape photographs from different locations on Gran Canaria. They got introduced to a doctor, an obstetrician specialized on women's reproductive system and Chris explained that she was 9 weeks pregnant, that it had been a big surprise and that she considered having an abortion. They were lucky, the doctor spoke good English and she informed them that today they would only do tests to confirm and date the pregnancy and be given information about her options. She could book an abortion for next week, if she wanted, but it was mandatory that she took three days to reflect on it first. Both Chris and Mutta nodded and sat up straight like good little schoolchildren and listened. The doctor asked Chris a few questions about her menstruation cycle and pregnancy symptoms. Mutta found out that Chris had a very regular 28-days cycle and that the pregnancy made her tired, more emotional and a bit nauseous. He had felt the same since he had found out; tired, emotional and occasionally nauseous. She was informed about what to eat and not to eat or drink during a pregnancy. 

 

Then the nurse came back and took Chris to another room for tests while Mutta had to wait outside. He felt useless, like he was just tagging along but did not really have a role in all of this. But considering everything Chris had to go through, enduring this visit was the least he could do.

 

The nurse came to fetch him and Mutta took the opportunity to ask “ **How common is it that the boyfriends come here?** ”. The nurse answered “ **It is becoming more common, I feel a generational shift going on** ”. The nurse asked if he wanted to see the sonogram. “ **The what?** ” he asked. “ **It’s a picture from the ultrasound** ” the nurse explained. Mutta said yes and got to see a black and white picture of something that looked like a shrimp with an enormous head. “ **This is a magnified picture. The real size is more like a grape or an olive** ” the nurse explained. Why did they always have to compare it to food, he thought. Chris and him had started to refer to “it” as  _ the raspberry _ and now it was part of their vocabulary and difficult to call it anything else.

 

Back in the doctor's room they got information folders in Spanish and the doctor confirmed that Chris was indeed 9 weeks pregnant like she had suspected. The counseling session was very businesslike, which surprised Mutta a bit. The doctor was very informative and practical, neither cold nor emotional. She had probably done this a million times.

 

First they very quickly got information about child care benefits in Spain and the doctor commented that she did not know the details on child care benefits in Norway, but she did not think they were any worse than in Spain. They had to find out themselves. 

 

After that they got information on how a surgical abortion was carried out. Mutta wondered about abortion pills, it seemed easier but he felt strange asking about it, since he was not the one being pregnant. “ **In Spain we rarely do medical abortion after the 7th week** ” the doctor explained and thereby answered his questions anyway. “ **It’s ok, I think I’d prefer the other one anyway. To just go to sleep and when I wake up it is all over** ” Chris answered. 

 

The doctor nodded and went on explaining what they could expect after the abortion. Bleeding with small clots was to be expected for three days and up to several weeks after, but not more than the heavy flows during a normal menstruation. The same was true for cramps and abdominal pain. Mutta had no idea what that meant, what was normal?

 

“ **Many women fall back into their ovular cycle immediately after the abortion. This mean that it is possible to ovulate and get pregnant already two weeks after the abortion. So I strongly recommend that you make an appointment with one of the family planning advisers here or in Norway. And that you do not have sex again until you are fully recovered** ” the doctor stressed and was addressing both of them now. Mutta felt accused and wanted to say that off course they would not have sex until she was feeling ok and that they actually had been using protection. But he stayed quiet, he wasn't in any position to argue with an obstetrician on contraceptives considering their situation. The doctor went on and informed Chris that she should not have sex, bathe in the sea or a bathtub, exercise or do any heavy lifting the coming two to four weeks after the procedure, and that she should stay aware of any signs of infection like fever or more severe bleeding or pain.

 

“ **This is what you can expect from the physical recovery, but some women find the emotional recovery the hardest, due to all the pregnancy hormone still active in your body.** ” the doctor continued. “ **You might still test positive on a pregnancy test and feel pregnancy symptoms for some time after. How long it lasts and how much it affects you emotionally is very individual, it depends on how sensitive you are to the hormones. Some women get depressed** .” Chris looked concentrated and terrified while she was carefully listening to the doctors every word. “ **If the abortion is done after week 10 it is possible problems with leaking milk occurs, and that can be emotionally upsetting for some women** .” Mutta wished that it would be over soon, could there really be more? They got some more folders and Chris made a preliminary appointment for an abortion the following Thursday, she was to call and confirm the appointment on Monday.

 

Mutta turned to Chris and said “ **I have my flight back that day. But maybe Vilde can go with you?** ” he wondered. “ **Yes, I’ll ask her** ” Chris answered. “ **I think I’d rather have Vilde with me anyway, no offence. She a woman** ” she added. Mutta nodded and squeezed her hand, Vilde would probably had been a better support on this visit as well. Before they left Chris went to the doctor, hugged her and said “ **Thank you** ”.

 

Once outside Mutta exhaled a breath that he was not aware he was holding. “ **Are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost** ” Chris said. They went to a nearby park for an ice cream and sat down on a bench. “ **Chris, I am so, so, so sorry** ” he said heavy with remorse. “ **Yeah, you’ve said that a hundred times now** ” Chris answered. He continued “ **Look, I’ll support you whatever you decide. And I understand if you don’t want to go through with this. You’re not alone, we’ll be ok** ”. She started joking with him, like she often did when things got too serious “ **But Mutta, what would your mother say! If you came home with a pregnant infidel girlfriend** ”. He knew what his mother would say, and he was not looking forward to it. Or what his father, uncle, aunt or everybody else would say and think. “ **She would be very angry and disappointed with me first, but also very helpful once the baby was born** ” he answered without hesitation. “ **Would she be angry with me to? The whore that lead you astray?** ” Chris asked with theatrical widen eyes. “ **No. She didn’t raise you. And you’d be the mother of her grandchild. She would probably tell me to marry you** ” he answered. Chris couldn’t help smiling and her eyes got even bigger “ **Aah. Really. And would you? Do you always do what your mother tells you to do?** ” she asked amused. Mutta laughed and blushed. How the hell did he end up in this situation? Was she joking with him like always? The thought, to offer to marry her, had crossed his mind more than once since he found out. But he didn’t want to pressure her into feeling like she had to keep it. Or marry him for that matter. Their eyes met but they both looked away quickly. “ **Well if I did we wouldn’t be in this mess now, would we?** ” he answered cleverly.

  
“ **Don’t worry, you’re off the hook. This is not how I dream it would be like when I was a little girl either** ” she told him and winked. “ **Besides, do you really think squeezing a watermelon out of my vagina is any easier than an abortion?** ” she asked rhetorically. He buried his face in his hands and hoped he could get rid of that picture in his mind. “ **What I heard in there was, that I’ll go to sleep, when I wake up again it will be all over and then bla bla bla but nothing worse than a normal period and you might get a little depressed** ” she continued. He hugged her long and was amazed over how much calmer she was compared to himself, even though she was the one exposed here. He felt relieved that they were not going to become parents quiet yet but he also felt a bit like a coward.


	23. Group chat : Women

### (Monday 27 August, 2018)

Elias: **Nice photo on insta Mutta!**

**I take it things are good with you and Chris?**

Mutta: **yeah, it’s really good, considering everything**

**I am having a blast**

Even: **seriously only Chris could make an unwanted pregnancy that fun**

Mutta: **the other day I did a pregnancy test, just for fun**

**and to test that it’s working, quality control thing**

**I’m not pregnant!**

Adam: **so that’s your idea of fun now?**

Mikael: **you’re such a conspiracy theorist!**

**So you think the pharmaceutical industry is investing in the wedding industry now or something?**

Mutta: **you never know**

**they could be defected, all seven tests she took…**

**ha ha wishful thinking I guess**

Adam: **are you literally a motherfucker now?**

Mutta: **ha ha no, not yet**

**the womens health clinic was a bit depressing though**

**but I have a new admiration for women now**

**they bleed and are in pain every month and do you ever hear them complain?**

Adam: **is this news to you? ha ha**

**were you sleeping during Newtons puberty*?**

**no wonder your gf is pregnant!**

Yousef: **they do complain though, some of them**

Elias: **why do they complain to you Yousef?**

Yousef: **not Sana! other women**

Elias: **what is it with you and women**

Mutta: **ok, but think about it - they can squeeze a baby out and create milk**

Adam: **hmm, not sure I wanna think about it**

Mikael: **the milk thing is really creepy, but a little fascinating**

Mutta: **there is so much creepy and fascinating things here**

**if you’re a doctor or a sadist**

Elias: **what did you do at the clinic? they even allow men there?**

Mutta: **some tests and a lot of information**

**I felt like a kid called in to the principal's office**

**after we were sent home to reflect on what we had done and the consequences for three days!**

**and they recommend we get family planning advice**

Yousef: **I recommend that to!**

Adam: **what do you know about making babies, Yousef?**

Yousef: **I know how to avoid making them at least**

Mikael: **now you are just killing the fun**

Elias: **stop picking on Yousef**

**he’s with my little sister, so show some respect**

**the less he knows the better ha ha**

Yousef: **fuck all of you!**

Even: **You’ll get your share of fun soon enough**

Yousef: **Oh, I’m counting on it**

Elias: **stop now or I’ll leave the chat group!**

Mikael: **but Mutta are you really moving there?**

Mutta: **I think so, I got an intervju tomorrow**

**I am not sure how to tell my mother that I am going to live with 4 girls though**

Adam: **4?**

Mutta: **Chris, Vilde and two danish girls**

Adam: **can I come and live there to?**

Mutta: **ha ha! It’s already getting crowded, but come and visit us!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Newtons puberty is NRK's series on puberty, 8 episodes. It comes with a warning to parents that it is normal if they get embarrassed watching it with their kids. You find it on Youtube with English subtitles.


	24. POV Isak : Who is pregnant?

### (Tuesday 28 August, 2018)

Isak was meeting Jonas for lunch at their favorite student hang out after classes. Apparently Sana had the same idea, meeting Noora there so they ended up sitting together. They were starving, the places was crowded and the grilled sandwiches took forever. He had time to refill his coffee twice and he and Jonas went to the counter again and to make sure they had not forgotten their order. When they got back the girls stopped talking and changed subject. What were they talking about? Was it about Jonas and Eva finally breaking up? Or something else. Jonas had to go to the bathroom so Isak asked. “ **What was that all about earlier? You got so quiet, was it about Eva and Jonas**?” he asked. Sana shook her head. “ **You always want to know everything. But I’ll not tell you, it has nothing to do with you** ”. He didn’t give up.“ **But I know you want to tell me. Come on, spill it!** ” he said. “ **It really doesn’t concern you** ” Noora added. “ **But maybe I could give you a new interesting perspective** ” he suggested. “ **Ha, really? It’s a women’s issue** ” Noora explained. “ **Even better, I’ll give a neutral outsiders perspective. I got a 6 in biology!** ” he added. “ **You did not!** ” Sana said doubtful.

 

Jonas was back and didn’t understand anything and asked. “ **What up? What are you talking about** ”. “ **They need a male perspective on a women’s issue** ” he explained and turned to the girls. Sana and Noora gave in. “ **Ok, we disagree on pregnancy and abortion. Does the women need to the her boyfriend or the guy about it. Does it help or just make it worse** ” Noora explained. Jonas and Isak hesitated. “ **Ok, that is no easy question. It depends on their relationship, the guy, I guess. If he is an idiot she should not tell him anything** ” Jonas argued. “ **Well if he never knows he won't have a chance to show if he is an idiot or not. It could be helpful, to know, to find out what to expect from him** ” Sana argued. “ **I think that there is really no need or obligation to say anything. Unless she is planning to keep it.** ” Noora argued.

 

Isak was so happy right now that he was gay and would never risk making anybody pregnant. But why were they arguing about this now? What had happened? “ **Who is pregnant?** ” he asked and studied their reactions. Both Sana and Noora stared at him. They were not going to tell him anything. “ **Look, I can’t help you with this dilemma if I don’t know the details. Are they together or not? Did they just meet? Is he controlling? How old are they?** ” he tried to fish for more clues. Sana answered him harsh “ **Isak, we are not going to tell you. It’s none of us so we don’t have to right to decide who should know** ”. “ **So, it is somebody I know?** ” Isak asked. Sana rolled her eyes and accused him “ **I see where you are going here! You are worse than Yousef’s mom** ”. Jonas was laughing. It was an established truth that Yousef’s mom was good at keeping track on everybody and everything and that it annoyed Sana.

 

Isak looked at Jonas and it hit him. It must be Eva, that’s why they got so silent before when he and Jonas arrived. And it would explain Eva’s sudden interest for children. She had started an internship at a kindergarten now and was always talking about the little cute once. Jonas had not told him anything about it, so obviously he didn’t know yet. And off course, they had just broken up, so this could be a very sensitive topic.

 

He took his phone and wrote a quick message to Eva to check his theory. “ **Hey girl, is everything ok? How are your babies?** ”. She answered immediately “ **I am ok. The kids are great. Why this sudden interest?** ”. She had a point, he had been mostly Jonas friend lately, especially since the break up. It was a mess. “ **Nothing. Just want you to know that we are still friends. And I got worried about you. That’s all** ” he answered. Eva wrote “ **Why are you worried about me? I am fine!** ”. Ha, she got suspicious! That is definitely a sign that she is hiding something! “ **Just so you know, you can always talk to me if you need to** ” he added. “ **Wtf Isak? What’s going on?** ” she answered. He sent her a heart and a hug emoji, girls like that, and put away the phone. Now he’ll leave it up to her if she wants to confide in him.

 

…

 

Isak and Jonas had company on part of the way home. “ **Have you talked anything with Eva lately?** ” he asked. Jonas shook his head. “ **No, she said she wanted a break from us, before we can be friends again.** ” Jonas answered with his head hanging low. “ **Maybe you should check in with her. Just to see that she is ok** ” Isak suggested. Jonas looked at him suspicious “ **Why?** ” he asked. Isak shrugged “ **No particular reason. Just you never know, if she has something to tell you** ”. “ **You don’t think it her? That she is the one?** ” Jonas asked. “ **It could be. She has gained some weight lately, right?** ” Isak answered. “ **No, no, we, no. I don’t think it can be her.** ” Jonas said.

 

He is so in denial, Isak thought. Jonas was in deep thoughts. “ **I mean, I can’t just ask her straight out if she is pregnant. That would be a disaster** ” Jonas said. “ **You could just show that you care, even though you are not together anymore** ” Isak suggested. “ **If she is pregnant and she doesn’t what me to know then… then I don’t need to know** ” Jonas argued. “ **Really? That is your opinion? Then I understand why she wouldn’t want to tell you** ” Isak accused him. “ **It’s not Eva, I’m telling you. I would know if it was her** ” Jonas argued. Isak was not so sure “ **Yeah, right, because you two have been having so good communication lately and really been in a place of trust where you tell each other everything** ”. Jonas got offended “ **What is it with you? Are you bored or something? Or did you have a fight with Even?** ”. Isak rolled his eyes. Ok, maybe he had been a bit bored lately. Everything was good. No drama with Even, no stress at school yet. He was not used to everyday life being this easy. Were they becoming middle aged or something? TV-nights on the sofa, always the same dishes for dinner. This pregnancy rumor was the most exciting thing in weeks.

 

He had gotten three more messages from Eva: “ **You are freaking me out** ” and “ **Is it about Jonas? I can live without him, I have done it before!** ” and “ **I am not drinking!** ”. All of them just confirmed what Isak suspected, Eva was being emotional, her first though was about Jonas and she had stopped drinking alcohol.

 

At home Even had already started with dinner and got happy to see him. “ **What are you cooking?** ” he asked. “ **Pasta and the vegetarian sauce that you like** ”, Even answered. Isak didn’t really like that sauce all that much, he had just said it once a long time ago and no he couldn’t just take it back. “ **So, I think maybe Eva is pregnant** ” Isak started. Even looked doubios at him. “ **Why do think that?** ” Even asked. “ **Well, Noora and Sana was talking about pregnancy and you know, Eva has been different and all obsessed with kids lately** ”.

 

“ **Maybe she just think that she found what she wants to do with her life** ” Even suggested. Something in his voice made Isak insecure. Did Even know something that he didn’t know? “ **You know something that I don’t, don’t you?** “ he asked. Even laughed and answered cryptically “ **I know a great many things that you don’t** ”. Isak stared at him, he was making fun of him now. “ **Come here and taste this sauce** ” Even ordered him. Isak did as told and it was delicious. “ **Wow Even! This is really good. But it’s different. Is it really vegetarian?** ” he wondered. “ **Yeah. But I improvised and put in some goat cheese and some garlic roasted chickpeas this time** ”. Even answered. “ **You should always do that. You know, I actually didn’t like it before, I just said that once. But now I like it** ” Isak confessed. “ **So, you lied to me before?** ” Even teased him. “ **What can I say, the things you do for love** ” Isak defended himself. “ **So, what else have you lied about?** ” Even wanted to know. “ **What? Nothing, I swear. Besides everybody lies a little** ” Isak continued. “ **I don’t. I just don’t tell you everything** ” Even said. Isak laughed, “ **And how is that any better?** ”. He felt the urge to kiss him and did. Then started putting plates and cutlery on the table. He felt lucky to have a man like Even to come home to. And lucky that they didn’t have to think or worry about babies.


	25. POV Chris : Like a virus

### (Thursday 30 August, 2018)

Chris was freaking out a bit. She looked at the chart of fruit that illustrated the size of the fetus week by week. It used to be the size of a sweet pea in week 6 when she had told Sana. Now she was in week 10 and it was the size of a prune. 3,1 centimeter long and about 4 gram according to the chart. It was dubbeling almost every week now!

 

It could had been over by now. But she had cancelled the appointment she had today because Vilde could not go with her and Mutta had left for Oslo earlier this morning. She didn’t want to go alone and they recommended that somebody should be there to take her home afterwards. She had gotten a new appointment next Friday afternoon, when Vilde had a free day. It was perfect, she didn’t even have to ask for any days off at work and could just rest during the weekend and hopefully be ok enough to work again on Monday. But by next week the fetus would be twice as big, the size of a lime, 4,1 centimeter and 7 gram.

 

It was good that Mutta had left. It would just be more difficult if he’d stay. Every time she looked at him she felt like she was rejecting a piece of him and it was so much more difficult to just be reasonable. It was probably just the damn pregnancy hormones playing tricks with her, making her so emotional. She didn’t want to have a baby now. She definitely did not want to have a baby-life now and neither did Mutta. He seemed very affected and conflicted by the whole situation. He never said it out loud, he was only being supportive, but what did he really think? He was probably relieved that she was the one making the tough decision for him. He said that he would stay in the picture and be a father if she kept it, and that his mother would help them. His mother, that she had never even met.

 

She thought about calling her own mother and talk to her. She wanted to tell her everything but it seemed so difficult, she didn’t know how. It would had been much easier face to face, over a cup of tea or something. She noticed a message from Sana who asked if she wanted to skype and answered yes.

 

“ **Hey girl! How are you holding up?** ” Sana asked on the screen. “ **I am ok. It is what it is** ” Chris started. “ **It is creepy, the raspberry is growing like a virus, dubbeling in size every week** ” she complained. Sana seemed worried. “ **And… Mutta left today?** ” Sana asked. Chris nodded. “ **He says that he is working on moving here and that the next time he comes he will probably stay for long** ” Chris told her friend. She laughed and added “ **And oh, he kinda suggested we'd get married if I’d keep the raspberry. Can you believe that!** ”. Sana was not very impressed but instead seemed to be taken that for granted “ **Well he should, it’s the least to expect. Try to secure some stability. If you want it, off course** ”. Chris was more sceptical “ **But I wouldn’t want to get married just because of an unplanned baby** ” she protested. Sana rolled her eyes “ **You and Noora and your damn pride! People has gotten married for worse reasons. Besides, anybody who has seen you and Mutta together would understand that it is not just because of that and that you really care about each other** ”. “ **Really?** ” Chris asked insecure and Sanna nodded. “ **So it is not just animalistic attraction?** ” she added and made herself and Sana laugh. Sana even had to dry a tear from the  laughter, “ **Oh Chris, I miss you!** ” she said with a melancholy smile on her face.

  
“ **Do you want to play plague or cholera?** ” Chris asked, referring to a game where they had to choose between two evils. Sana nodded. “ **Would you rather cut out a piece of your womb and risk infection, some bleeding and post pregnancy depression or to squeeze a watermelon out of you pussy and still risk infection, bleeding and depression and in addition to that become responsible for a little person for life more or less?** ” Chris asked. “ **When you put it like that…** ” Sana started but didn’t finish the sentence. Chris touched the screen and said “ **I really miss you to Sana** ”. They gossiped some more about their friends, Eva breaking up with Jonas, Noora had so far refused to sleep over at William’s new place and Elias planning to move away from home.


	26. POV Vilde : You two are very close

### (Wednesday 5 September, 2018)

Vilde felt a bit guilty. She had been neglecting her girlfriend by spending more time with Chris. And earlier today she had snapped at Chris for being emotional and obsessing about the pregnancy. Lately everything had been about that, Chris being pregnant. Half of the chats with their friends back in Oslo was about it, how fast it was growing and strange things happening in her body. Or it was about Mutta’s reaction to something concerning the pregnancy.

 

It was so different being with Sofia, they talked about so many other things. Sofia was pushing Vilde to try new things. They had been snorkeling and now she was suggesting trying scuba diving as well. Vilde didn’t like the idea of being trapped under water like that, but Sofia promised that it was safe and a marvelous experience. They talked about travelling together some day. Vilde had not told her very much about her mother yet, but she felt like Sofia was the kind of person that she could be able to talk to about that. She was both what Vilde wanted and what she needed. Vilde missed her, longed for her whenever they were apart too long. This was so much better than she would had imagined that it could be. Sofia like her for who she really was. No mask. No need to pretend, to be fake.

 

Chris was so often joking about being knocked up, it was like she was hiding behind a happy face to avoid confronting the reality. Also that irritated Vilde. First she didn’t want to think about it seriously, then she got stuck on whether or not to tell Mutta and now, even though she had decided to do an abortion she had cancelled her first appointment. Ok, she did rescheduled it, but still, it was as if she was trying to avoid it. If she continued like this a few more weeks she would run out of options and have to keep it. Then Chris would become a mother. A very good mother, Vilde was convinced, but a still a real mother with a real baby. And the baby would be so, so cute for sure, but everything would change.

Then Chis would not have time to hang out the same way, so no more no more partying all night long. Everything would be about the baby, just like everything was about the pregnancy now. And Chris would probably move back to Oslo. This was supposed to be their Gran Canaria experience! They had been through so much together over the years and she knew that change was inevitable, but did it have to come so soon?

 

Vilde knew that having a baby was not really what Chris wanted now. She wished that she could do something to make Chris feel better, to calm her and assure her that everything would be alright soon. It would, soon life could be back to normal.

 

Vilde wrote a message to tell Chris that she was meeting Sofia after work. “ **Who are you writing?** ” Sofia asked behind her. She had sneaked up on Vilde while she was too absorbed by her phone. “ **Oh, hi** **_tesoro*_ ** **! I’m just telling Chris I am not coming straight home** ” she explained. “ **Ah, Chris** ” Sofia said and raised her eyebrows. “ **You and Chris. You two are very close** ” Sofia commented. Vilde watched her carefully, wondering if she was being jealous. “ **Yes, we are. We have known each other since forever** ” she started to explain. Sofia nodded and they started walking towards a fruteria to get fresh fruit and vegetable. Sofia hated to buy them at the supermarket. Vilde continued and tried hard to explain her link to Chris. “ **It’s always been us. She is like the sister I never had** ”. Sofia smiled and said “ **I get it. You are close. You are allowed to have close friends** ”. She asked Vilde to smell the tomatoes “ **These are so… so perfect** ” she said and bought half a dussin. “ **And just so you know, I love you too** ” Sofia said with a low voice and kissed her on the cheek. “ **What?** “ Vilde was stunned. ” **You waited two days to tell me this? I can’t believe you!** ” Vilde cried out. “ **It shouldn’t be said too easily. Then it’s not worth much. I needed time to reflect a little** ” Sofia answered smiling and continued investigating the some oranges.

 

Two days earlier they had been out a bunch of people. Chris, the Danish girls, Eva’s salsa dancing admirer and a few new people, more or less their age, that they had gotten to know at work. They stayed until the place closed and hanged out on the beach a bit afterward. Vilde had gotten a bit too drunk and insisted that she wanted to sleep over at Sofia’s place. They went straight to bed, tangled up in eachothers arms, both being very tired from the long day. Vilde whispered “ **_Te amo*_ ** _”_ before she fell asleep. She thought that Sofia was already asleep, but it felt good to say it into the night. Apparently she had not been asleep and had heard it.

  
Vilde noticed a new message from Chris and got a bit annoyed but read it straight away anyway. “ **Vilde. There is something wrong. I am bleeding** ” it said. Vilde got worried and felt guilty for being so short to Chris earlier. “ **Sofia, I am so sorry, I need to go** ”. “ **What’s going on?** ” Sofia asked. “ **It is Chris. She is pregnant and I think we need to go to the hospital. She is not having a baby, it’s too soon, she is...** ”. Vilde got stuck, she didn’t know what to say, but she was afraid that something terrible could be happening. Sofia calmed her down and said “ **We can talk later. Just go and be with your sister** ”. And Vilde hurried to be with Chris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tesoro = Spanish for treasure  
> *Te amo = Spanish for I love you


	27. Group chat: Something is wrong

###  (Wednesday 5 September, 2018)

Vilde:  **Hi I’m with Chris at the hospital**

**she felt like something was wrong and started bleeding**

**I think we are losing the raspberry**

Eva:  **< 3 give her a hug**

Noora:  **omg is she ok?**

Vilde:  **she is making jokes about the pills she got and made the nurse laugh at least**

**idk some blood and pain**

**a doctor just came now**

Sana:  **what pills?**

Vilde:  **idk, for the pain I think?**

 

_ … Later...  _

 

Noora:  **Vilde, are you there? any news? how is Chris?**

Vilde:  **sorry, yeah they said the raspberry has been dead for days maybe longer, and now her body wants to get rid of it**

**we are going home now and to the clinic on friday**

Eva:  **what? it’s been dead for days?**

Vilde:  **yeah, they said it happens sometimes, it just stops developing and dies**

Noora:  **tell her we are thinking about her**

Sana:  **and I’ll pray for her**

**We can skype later if she’s up for it**

Vilde:  **Chris says hi, she is tired and just want to sleep now**

Noora:  **< 3**


	28. Chat : No spoilers

### (Thursday 6 September, 2018)

Chris: **Hi puppy**

**I lost the raspberry**

**came back from the hospital late last night**

Mutta: **are you ok?**

Chris: **Yeah, tired, I got some pills and will take two sick days to rest**

**I am going to my booked appointment at the clinic tomorrow for a check up**

Mutta: **sorry I am not there <3**

Chris: **me too**

**or not, I plan to stay in bed and see the last season of Walking Dead now and you’ve seen it**

**No spoilers!**


	29. POV Chris : Empty

### (Friday 7 September, 2018)

Chris was exhausted. She had been home from work the day before, feeling anxious and sad and today she had been back to the clinic for a talk and a check up. Everything seemed ok, her body was responding just like it should in this situation, she was told. The doctor also told her that it was common and normal to feel sadness, anxiety and guilt, even if she had not planned to keep the baby. Chris wondered if it happened because of something she had done. She had been drinking alcohol in the beginning, before she knew and a little after as well and she had probably been eating both salami and the wrong type of cheese too. The doctor reassured her that it had nothing to do with that, it could not have caused the miscarriage. These things happened because the fetus was not capable to take the next step in developing into a viable baby.

 

There was noting that indicated that this would happen again either, the doctor explained. This was probably an isolated event. On the contrary, Chris was a fertile healthy young woman and since she had gotten pregnant so easily this time she would probably get pregnant easily again when she wanted to. Everything looked fine, physically.

 

So there had been some error with her little raspberry all along, Chris thought and it made her sad. It was strange because she was relieved and happy that she was not pregnant anymore. But she still felt sad, although she did not really have anything to be sad about. It made her angry, why was she being this emotional, she had already planned an abortion and everything. She had not really lost anything. But she still felt empty inside.

 

Talking to Mutta did not make it much better. He went on about how he hated being so far away, that he was no good with words and would rather just be there and hold her. She would prefer that too, but there was nothing they could do about that. And she had Vilde. When they came back from the hospital late that night, Vilde had stayed with her and held her until she fell asleep. Now Vilde was away with Sofia, but only after Chris had told her three times that she should go and that she wanted to be alone and that she had planned to call Eva, Sana and Noora on Skype later. She washed her face and got comfortable in bed and made the call.

 

“ **Hi there girls** ” she said when they appeared on the screen. There was a chaos of greetings until Eva took control. “ **Chris, it is so good to see you! We have been thinking about you these days. How are you feeling** ”. Chris shrugged “ **Seriously I feel like my uterus is taking revenge on me for not really wanting this baby. Like it had prepared everything so soft and warm and cosy and I am just an ungrateful bitch that doesn’t even appreciate it and now I have to bleed to death slowly** “ she laughed a bit at her own brilliant metaphor and noticed that Eva and Sana tried to hide a smile too. Score!

 

Eva continued by asking “ **Do you also sometimes fantasize about having survived something terrible, like a war or an earthquake when you have your period? You know, standing in the shower and watching the blood mix with the water and go down the drain** ”. Noora was skeptical and said “ **What? You do that? Why?** ”. “ **Well, I might as well make it interesting** ” Eva reasoned. “ **By imagining being in a catastrophe?** ” Noora asked not getting it the point. “ **I have a very good imagination. Sometimes when I do it, it feels so real, that I want to cry** ” Eva continued.

 

Sana looked at the two of them yapping and then turned to Chris and asked “ **Chris, did you tell Mutta yet?** ”. Chris nodded “ **Yeah. I sent a message and we talked. He was, I don’t know, sorry. I think the whole blood and hospital thing freak him out a bit. He was already feeling guilty for knocking me up and that he could not be here. But why should he? It’s like the worst date idea ever! And it’s not like he could do much anyway** ”. “ **Well I am happy you have Vilde there. Where is she by the way?** ” Sana asked. “ **Out on a hot date with her sexy girlfriend. A real date** ” Chris told them. “ **Do we like Sofia?** ” Eva asked. “ **Yes, we do. Sofia is good for her** ” Chris answered. “ **That’s good** ” Noora agreed.

  
“ **But seriously guuuurlz, what are you doing home on a Friday night? I have a sick day, but you have no excuse!** ” Chris accused them. “ **Especially you Eva! You are single again, you should be celebrating and hook up with some stud** ”. Eva was not as convinced “ **I don’t know. Maybe I am in a new phase in life, but I think I need a break from men and sex** ”. “ **Are you going all Vilde on us now?** ” Chris asked. “ **No, maybe, no I don’t know. I just don’t want it to be so important now. It’s not the meaning of life, you know** ” Eva argued. “ **P-Chris will come to Williams party tomorrow** ” Noora reminded her. Eva seemed a little interested. Chris got disappointed “ **William is having a party without me?** ”. “ **It’s just a housewarming thing. It will probably be full of snobby law students and ex-penetrator guys** ” Noora explained. Sana assured her “ **Don’t worry Chris, it will not be a real party without you. We will go there to pay our respects and admire his new apartment. Bring a pack of fancy toilet paper as a present or something** ”. It felt good to be missed. “ **That’s good to hear. Anyway, I am tired and just want to rest, get well and go back to work on Monday and go on with my life** ” Chris said before they said goodbye and finished the call. She had three more _Walking Dead_ episodes left to watch.


	30. POV Eva : William’s housewarming party

###  (Saturday 8 September, 2018)

When Eva arrived at William’s apartment the party had already started and the place was full with people. She started looking for somebody she knew, she recognised a few people from Hartvig Nissen but didn’t see any of her friends straight away. In the living room music were playing and she saw Eskild dance with Linn, Isak and Even. No sight of neither Noora or Sana yet. From the living room she saw that one of the bedrooms were light up with a soft light and seemed to be some kind of chill out zone. It was connected to a bathroom with a jacuzzi that was currently being used by P-Chris and two girls. He had a bottle of sparkling wine and when he saw her and he called out “ **Eva, do you wanna join us?** ”. She laughed but declined the offer “ **I didn’t bring my bikini** ”. “ **No need for that!** ” Chris tried. She just smiled and shook her head. Chris, Chris, Chris, she had missed him. “ **Maybe next time”** she answered to his disappointment. 

 

She found Noora and William in the kitchen. William was showing of his new espresso machine to a bunch of people. “ **And Noora, I bought the finest fairtrade Colombian coffee, the one that you love so much** ” he informed her. Noora smiled at him but warned him “ **Good. But you have to learn to use it yourself. I am a barista at work but I will not be your private barista at home** ”. “ **You called it home!** ” he marked and looked pleased. “ **Oh, my mistake. On my freetime. Whatever. You know what I mean** ” she tried to correct her previous statement. One of Williams classmates, a blonde very chic girl, took an interest and asked Noora “ **So you are not living here?** ”. Noora shook her head “ **No, I have my own place. Room. I live with some friends** ”. “ **But you used to live together before?** ” she continued asking confused. What was this, some kind of nosy interrogation, Eva thought and noticed that Noora got uncomfortable. “ **That was only a temporary solution** ” William answered in her place and put his arm around Noora and thereby ended the discussion. “ **Eva, have you gotten a drink yet?** ” he asked her and showed her where to find it.

 

Eva poured herself a glass of wine and could swear that they guy standing next to her was Marius, the son of the crown princess. She had to send a message to Chris about it, who of course got jealous and wanted a photo. Eva explained that no, no, no, she is not a paparazzi and he is on a private party and should be left alone. 

 

She continued through the crowd and bumped into Jonas and was a little surprised to see him there. They had not met much since the breakup. She didn’t know that he and William had gotten that good friends, that he would invite him to his party. And she was pretty sure that Noora would not have invited him considering everything. Jonas was very drunk, more than usual for him. He lean in on her and said “ **All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You know that you can tell me things, right? That you can talk to me if you need to?** ” he sludderd. It felt strange hearing him talk like that and Eva pushed him gently away and said “ **Jonas, I think you should take it easy and maybe not drink so much more** ”. She remembered Isak’s strange messages about a week ago. Was there some rumor circling around about her having alcohol problems? Nothing could be more wrong, for once in her life things were going well and she felt strong and focused and on a good path forward.

 

Eva saw that the door to the balcony was open and imagined that she could find Sana there, either there or in the chill out room. She pushed through the dancing people, trying hard not to spill anything from her wine glass and half way through the balcony door she saw Sana and Yousef kissing on the balcony. “ **Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interupt you** ” she said and looked away. They got embarrassed but pretended like nothing. “ **It’s ok, you are not interrupting anything really** ” Sana said. Yousef added “ **We just have a thing for balconies** ”. And it became very comical. Eva couldn’t remember the last time she had seen them kissing, probably just once before, in the park, about a year ago when Yousef had just come home from Turkey.

 

She started ventilating with Sana “ **Why are people being so strange. I just met Jonas, and he was all,** **_you know that you can tell me anything_ ** **. And maybe a week ago Isak was sending me these weird messages that he was worried about me and that I could talk to him** ”. Sana looked at her skeptically “ **Can I see those messages?** ” she asked. “ **Sure** ” Eva answered and took up her phone, found the chat conversation and showed it to Sana. “ **That little lizard. Look, he probably thinks that you are pregnant and not Chris. He heard us talking and then he drew his own conclusions when we didn’t want to tell him anything** ” Sana explained and left to find Isak and set him straight. 

 

Eva was left with Yousef at the balcony. “ **I heard you are at Akersbakken kindergarten. A classmate of mine works extra there sometimes** ” he said. “ **Yeah, Line, she is nice** ” Eva answered. “ **She is mostly with the smaller kids at Indigo and I am with the older at Rubia, but we meet when they are outside playing sometimes** ”. Yousef nodded. “ **How long are you staying there?** ” he asked genuinely interested. “ **Now I am just trying it out, as an intern for two months. September and October there and then November and December I’ll be at Dragen youth center, it’s after school activities for kids from 8 to 14 year olds** ” she explained. She felt proud, this solution, to work as an intern within two fields that interested her was something that she had arranged all by herself, not her mother or anybody else. She had simply called her former supervisor at the city hall who put her in contact with the right people responsible for youth and education. After she describe what she was interested in they came up with a plan together. The municipality were always looking for people on those positions, preferable people with an education within the fields but they made exceptions.

 

“ **At Dragen? Yeah, I know it. Adam used to hang there a lot. First as a kid and then later he made a deal to help them with the music group in exchange for using their recording equipments** ”. Eva didn’t know that, only that Adam was a rapper and did his own music. Yousef told her a bit more about Adam’s music projects and the guy at Dragen that had inspired him. Eva liked the idea that a youth center and the people there could have that effect on young people to boost their creativity like that.

 

Sana came back with Noora to the balcony and Yousef went inside to pee and left them. Eva noticed that Noora was looking at William with his new friends inside through the doorway now and then. “ **Is it just me or are those law school girls being just a little bit too interested in William? I mean, I don’t want to be paranoid or the jealous type but, I get this bad vibe from them** ” she said. Eva had noticed it too. “ **It’s not you, they are totally looking to replace you any chance they get. Like that blonde chick before, asking about your living arrangements. What was that all about? That’s none of her damn business!** ” she agreed. “ **What blonde chick?** ” Sana wanted to know and got updated. 

 

Sana got all strategic on them and said “ **Noora listen here, you need to get on top of this. Make sure everybody understand that he is still your boyfriend. But not primary for them, you need to do it for William. So he knows. It will be more difficult for him to stay faithful when he doesn't see you every night and have the opportunity to bring someone home** ”.

Noora protested “ **What? But Yousef lives alone too. Are you not worried about that?** ”. Sana raised her eyebrows and asked her rhetorically “ **Are you seriously comparing Yousef with William? Yousef, the guy who freaked out when you kissed him before we were even together. And William, who use to be the schools main fuckboy.** ” Eva was confused, when did Noora kiss Yousef? She had totally missed that drama. Noora gave in a little “ **Ok, ok. But William is not that guy anymore** ”. Sana continued “ **I know. I believe you. But it is still easy to fall back into old habits. And besides, look at him, he is so happy and proud of this place, but you are not. Forget about the other girls, make sure you keep him happy, then you don’t need to worry** .”

 

Noora looked at her skeptical “ **So you think I should move here? As a compromise? Then what? What if I get used to living like this and then in five years we break up? And I will be all alone and broke and homeless** ”. Sana answered “ **You will never be all alone, you have us** ”. Eva agreed and added “ **Besides, you’re the one always saying that it will always be you and William. So why are so scared?** ”. Noora was quiet, like their message was sinking in. Sana continued “ **Look, you don’t need to decide anything tonight. A first step, a first compromise, would be to show William that you like him and his crib and maybe start sleeping over here. My plan was to not kiss anyone before marriage, because, you know that could lead to other stuff. But I made a compromise, to make Yousef happy** ”. Eva was stunned. No sex, ok, but no kissing! “ **Seriously, you see kissing as a sacrifice you had to make?** ” she asked. “ **Not all compromises are bad. And Noora, who knows you might even enjoy this place, the jacuzzi, this view and I could not help to notice that he has a very nice bedroom** ” Sana said with a smug smile.

 

Noora seemed left without any new argument. “ **Ok, you have a point** ” she admitted. Sana smiled, very pleased with herself “ **Now, send him a message and, compliment his place and tell him you are staying over after the party. He will think about that all night and none of those chick stand a chance** ”. Noora was speechless. Eva liked the idea and contributed “ **No, no, no, do it more subtle, like ask if you can borrow one of his shirts to sleep in tonight or something** ”. “ **Are you two dictating my messages to William now! I can take care of my own lovelife** ” Noora protested. Eva and Sana looked at each other and smiled, no, she needed their help. Noora wrote something and they all watched William pick up his phone and noticed him change position and how his face lighten up as he read it. Eva got curious and asked “ **What did you write Noora?** ”. “ **It’s private** ” Noora answered with a pleased smile. It was good to see her smiling like that.

 

Yousef and Even came out and joined them. “ **You are still out here** ” he stated. They had been hanging out inside, trying their luck on the dartboard in the hallway. The first three people who could nail three bullseyes in a row was promised a lottery ticket from William. They didn’t make it, but it seemed like no one had either this far. Even complained “ **It’s an impossible task, he put the line to far away from the dartboard on purpose** ”. Noora defended him “ **He wouldn’t do that. I am sure he tested it and can get three or more bullseyes in a row himself** ”. Even raised his eyebrows “ **Really, sure enough to bet on it? If he makes it I’ll get you a lottery ticket. If not you’ll get me one** ”. The deal was on and Noora went to get her man to prove himself. She won, people cheered and William shrugged like it was nothing. “ **I think I need to get me a dartboard** ” Yousef commented. Even agreed “ **Me too. So now we know what we’ll be doing this autumn** ”.

 

Eva felt free and happy, this was a great party. Just enough drama to have something to tell Vilde and Chris about tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter coming up soon...


	31. Chat : Packing

###  (Sunday 16 September, 2018)

Mutta:  **do I need to bring towels and sheets and pillowcase?**

Chris:  **extra towels could be good, since you plan to surf I guess**

**i have enough sheets and stuff**

Mutta:  **and the Danish girls are ok with me living there?**

Chris:  **yes, you already asked about that**

**they are happy we are more people sharing the costs**

Mutta:  **shit I can find the charger to my phone! must have forgotten it on the ferry**

Chris:  **you can use mine, or buy a new**

Chris:  **can you pass by my parents and get some things for me?**

Mutta:  **and you tell me this now? I am already super stressed**

Chris:  **plis, plis, plis**

Mutta:  **ok <3 **

Chris:  **or I can tell my dad to bring it to you?**

Mutta:  **no I’ll go there tonight**

**like, right now and get it over with**

Chris:  **thank you!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I forgot this short chat, sorry, here it is.
> 
> Now I will re-post the last chapter...


	32. POV Even : In an Alternate Universe

### (Monday 17 September, 2018)

The alarm clock went off ridiculously early in the morning. Even was going to open the coffee house this morning at 6:00 so he needed to be there a bit before. Isak was complaining and Even teased him “ **Why are you so irritated, don’t you have classes this morning?** ”. Isak protested “ **Yeah, but not until 10. This is way too early, not human** ”. Even got dressed and put on his shoes and jacket. “ **I am leaving now** ” Even said and kissed him. “ **So I have to make breakfast alone?** ” Isak complained. “ **You are so spoiled! But I’ll make it for you if you stop by the coffee house** ” Even answered before he went out the door with music in his headphones. There were very few people on the streets and tram, Isak was right, it was inhuman to get up this early.

Passing the junktion by the central station Even noticed a familiar face. “ **Mutta! My bro, so nice to see you** ” he called out. Mutta seemed half asleep and stopped and hugged him surprised. “ **Even. I didn’t see you. I am still waking up I guess** ” he said. “ **What are you doing up this early?** ” Even asked and then noticed his two bags “ **Ah you are off to Las Palmas. Man, I envy you** ”. Mutta nodded “ **Yeah. Moving there now. But it seems like I am going to miss the next airport train now. Doesn't matter, I can take the next. I am early, always afraid that something will happen and that I will miss the flight** ” he explained. Even looked at him and said “ **Do you want a coffee? You look like you could need it** ”. “ **That sounds really nice** ” Mutta agreed and the went across the street to Even work.

Mutta dumped the bags by a table and took of his jacket and sat down by a chair by the counter. He watched while Even was setting things up. The doors were still closed for other customers and Even started making him coffee. “ **Here you go, a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso on the house. You look like you need it** ” he said and winked while handing it over to Mutta. Mutta ran his fingers through his hair, it was getting longer now. “ **Thanks man. It’s that obvious? I probably look like shit, I feel like shit** ” he said and took a sip from his cup. “ **No, no you don’t look like shit. Just a bit tired** ” Even assured him. He had to attend the bakeries arriving from the bakery.

When he was back behind the counter he turned to Mutta and said “ **I’m sorry, for what happened** ”. “ **Yeah. I just feel like shit for her, because my life went on like nothing and now I am relieved that it’s over. But I was not even there** ” Mutta explained. “ **You did what you could and you couldn’t be there all the time. You didn’t do anything wrong** ” Even said. Mutta exhaled “ **I’m not sure everybody would agree with you. I did… or we did plenty of thing some would consider being wrong, if you know what I mean** ” he answered tiredly and looked away, out the window. Even raised his eyebrows “ **Ah, because you are not married?** ” he asked. Mutta continued looking out the window. “ **In an alternate universe you are probably married and got to keep the baby and life is sugar sweet** ” Even told him. Mutta laughed at the idea. “ **Do you really think so?** ”. he asked dubious. “ **Yeah, sure. And there you and I are in a coffee house much like this one, but with another color on the walls and instead we are talking about how you are freaking out about becoming a father** ” Even suggested. Mutta continued smiling but shook his head and said “ **You are crazy, Even** ”. “ **Am I really? You have packed you bags and are moving there now. You two went through a crisis together, not just her. And you still smile when we talk about her** ” Even pointed out. Mutta still tried to deny it “ **I don’t know. We are not like Yousef and Sana. But, you are right, she does make me smile. The world is a happier place with Chris in it, or how was it you put it?** ” he said. Even nodded.

They said their goodbyes and Mutta had to hurry to the station to not miss the next train too. “ **Thanks Even. You were right, I really needed this** ” he said and hugged Even tight before he ran off.

…

 

When Even came home Sana was there studying with Isak. They looked like they needed a break so he offered them tea and sat down with them by the table. “ **I met Mutta today, he was on the way to the airport and stopped by for coffee** ” he told them. “ **Did he seem excited about moving there?** ” Sana asked. “ **I think he is still a bit shaken after what happened** ” Even answered. Isak seemed confused and had no idea of what they were talking about. “ **It is really unfair. Some people get pregnant like nothing, even if they don’t want to. While others have to fight for years to get a baby** ” he continued. Sana nodded and drank her tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is the end of this story. I hope you have enjoyed it, all the drama.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, it is nice to see what other people think, even if I am very trapped in my own fantasy world when I write.
> 
> I am already thinking about a new plot, structured kinda like this one with different POV, but circling around the theme temptation, jealousy and/or infidelity. When is it ok or stupid to be jealous? When is somebody really cheating? Is the physical or the emotional aspect of it more important? Or the betrayal and secrecy? And how much can you forgive?
> 
> It will probably take some time to write it first so it might change focus along the way.


End file.
